Lamar Leroy Griffiths: Heartbroken mum of murder victim wants legacy for beloved son

It has approaching six months since Lamar Leroy Griffiths was gunned down while inside a friend's car while they were parked at the Diamond Hand Car Wash on Burngreave Road on March 29, 2022. He was 21.

He had no criminal record, no criminal behaviour, or was not even ‘known to the police’.

He was, his mother Monique Bale says, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“That bullet was never meant for him,” she says.

“The shooter was aiming at that car, but he was just in the passenger seat.”

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Monique says she was on the phone to Lamar not half an hour before the shooting. He chatted about what a nice day it was and where he was walking to.

When he passed the car wash, he saw a friend he knew from school and got in the blue BMW's passenger seat. The attack came minutes later.

“He tried to climb into the back seat to protect himself and the bullet - a single bullet - hit him in the chest.

“Since I've been researching gang violence, I've met a man who was shot 29 times and lived. Lamar was hit once.

“He used to say he was his mother's child. We went on holiday together. We went for cocktails together. He used to call me at 3am to talk about girls.”

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This is Lamar's story. It's one Monique has set to out to tell - and, she hopes, use to combat gang violence and bridge the gap in male mental health provision.

“Six weeks after I buried him I decided I wanted Lamar to have a legacy,” Monique says. “I want to turn his pain into power and his power into purpose.

“Lamar was a fighter. He was so family orientated. He was the light and soul of the family.

“He needs a legacy because his light was so bright. He left such a beautiful energy. I'm so blessed he was my son.

“He was a reader, he loved maths, he loved football - but one thing he was passionate about was he wanted to get kids off the streets.”

Now, Monique has settled on her way to turn the pain caused by Lamar's death and gang violence into power, as she sets out.

She has launched 'Lamar's Legacy' - a public interest non-profit company with a mission statement to bridge the gap in male mental health provision and to prevent young men falling into gangs.

Her goals are far reaching, but chief among them is, within five years, Monique wants to see a 24 hour helpline or online resource set up to offer young men anonymous counselling on demand.

The mum-of-three is already booked to tell Lamar's story as a guest speaker at the University of Huddersfield's third Annual Youth Conference, a talk at Sheffield Hallam University and another at the University of Nottingham.

“I've been to Manchester and Birmingham to see what they offer to combat gang violence,” says Monique. “And I'm meeting with the Met Police soon.

“In my research into gangs, I've had to have some very difficult conversations with some very big guys about what they've been through and how they got out.”

It's set to make a busy work schedule for Monique. At 39 years old, she is also studying to be a surgical assistant, building on top of her job as an operating departmental practitioner and her diploma in midwifery.

“I can do anything I set my mind to,” says Monique.

Other goals for Lamar's Legacy are a school programme to instill emotional stability in young men and teach them to open up about their mental health.

“We've got lessons about sex education and PSHE but we need to instill that it's not 'manly' to not talk about your mental health,” said Monique.

“It all starts in school.

“When Lamar was at school - I won't say where - he had a teacher who told him over and over that he would never make anything of himself and he would end up in prison.

“Lamar was so bright - but, over time, hearing it again and again, that resonated with him.

“And in the end, he gave up. He left school at 15.

“I want this country to learn from its mistakes, that you cannot look at someone and judge them. You have to work twice as hard to make it in this country as a young black person.”

Another outcome she wants to see one day is an allotment or green space for older men to work on projects and support one another.

“I feel it is so hard to get older men to talk about their mental health,” says Monique.

"I want to make a safe space where they can get their hands dirty and learn to open up.”

To chart the journey, Monique has created the @LamarsLegacy_Forever21 Instagram and YouTube pages, where she wants to make videos of interviews with male role models and to share progress on her goals.

And, to begin her work, she has created a GoFundMe page for Lamar's Legacy.

This is what Monique wants to do to create a legacy for Lamar while she waits for justice - which, she fears, could be a long time.

“I personally don’t think I’m going to see a court date,” she says. “Personally, I think the person who did it has left the country.

“But I just have to make peace with that.

“I might not get justice for Lamar but if my work means one less person out there is killed I will get justice for someone.”

Nobody has yet been charged over Lamar’s murder.