Shell-shocked Sheffield United players sent stark warning as Chris Wilder looks in mirror after play-off pain

In the 90 minutes between the full-time whistle and his appearance in front of the written press, in a cavernous lecture theatre deep in the bowels of Wembley Stadium, Chris Wilder had not had the chance to speak to his beaten Sheffield United players. Their Premier League hopes had just gone up in smoke, and in the cruellest of circumstances of a 95th-minute Sunderland winner.

But as he spoke to reporters who had followed every cough and splutter of an arduous 51-game campaign that ultimately ended in more heartbreak under the Wembley arch, the Blades boss did have a message for them. "It's how you deal with it, with the disappointment,” he said.

"I've not talked to the players but they'll be hurting, we have to own it and suffer together. Most importantly I'm gutted for the supporters because they really gave us a massive amount of respect and energy going into this final.

"They [the players] are big boys, and they've got to get over it if they're going to have decent careers. They're going have to deal with not achieving something we all dreamed of, planned for and tried to execute. We're in a sport that is not straightforward.

“These things can happen, especially on a one-off game. It was not luck ... it was in our hands, the game, and we have to deal with that. Our goalkeeper’s hardly had a save to make and I never really thought we were under a huge amount of pressure. But we have to be better and kill teams off. We've not found that quality that we should have found with the players that we've got.”

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United looked on track to end their rotten run in the play-offs when Tyrese Campbell put them ahead after 25 minutes, with Unitedites sent delerious when Harrison Burrows doubled their lead with a well-struck shot from long range. But the celebrations were in vain when the strike was ruled out for a controversial offside goal, and that let-off re-energised the Black Cats.

They ended the first half well and started the second on top, too, going level through Eliezer Mayenda’s blistering finish before sub Tommy Watson, on his final appearance before joining Brighton this summer, placed into the bottom corner of the United goal deep into injury time.

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"Their careers will be defined by getting over disappointments,” Wilder added of his players. “And if not, they won't have a career. If I look back at my career, it was defined by disappointment.

"I got released at Southampton when I was 18 – which is possibly the most shattering blow that could happen to a young footballer – and I ended up playing over 400 games. There are other things that happen in life that are far worse, but at the moment it hurts.

"But it happens in every sport, in every way of life. It tests you. We've tried to build the football club on being resolute and tough, and on character and culture. So that'll be tested. Without that, the players are not going to progress their careers. I've got no issue in terms of looking in the mirror and picking myself up and picking people around me up. And you have to go again."