Family vow to continue Ross' mental health fight after Sheffield-born dad-of-one tragically takes his own life, aged just 31

The family of a Sheffield-born dad-of-one who tragically took his own life last month have vowed to continue his fight for better mental health treatment.
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According to his family, 31-year-old Ross McCarthy came across as the ‘life and soul of the party’ - but he had actually been battling severe depression for around 20 years.

Engineer Ross was born in Sheffield but was living in Stockton-upon-Tees with his partner Charlotte and their three-year-old son Charlie at the time of his death.

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Ross McCarthy with partner Charlotte and son Charlie.Ross McCarthy with partner Charlotte and son Charlie.
Ross McCarthy with partner Charlotte and son Charlie.
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The couple were due to get married abroad last year but the ceremony was postponed due to the coronavirus crisis and rearranged for later this year.

Ross’ dad Mike said his son had struggled with mental health problems for most of his young life, but in recent times had begun to think his troubles were more under control.

“He fought and fought and fought but there is a woeful lack of support for people in his position,” said Mike.

“But even though he was suffering terribly he was very positive and made a superhuman effort to carry on as normal.

Sheffield-born Ross McCarthy, 31, tragically took his own life last month.Sheffield-born Ross McCarthy, 31, tragically took his own life last month.
Sheffield-born Ross McCarthy, 31, tragically took his own life last month.
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“I am very proud of him and the long years he struggled against the odds.”

While Ross’ illness was not caused by the coronavirus lockdown, Mike said he believed it had exacerbated his problems.

“He was very active and went to the gym and liked to take Charlie swimming but he couldn't do that because of the restrictions,” he said.

“We are also a very close family and Ross found the lack of face to face contact very difficult.”

Ross McCarthy (far right) with sister Laura and brother Tom.Ross McCarthy (far right) with sister Laura and brother Tom.
Ross McCarthy (far right) with sister Laura and brother Tom.
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As well as Charlotte and Charlie, Ross also leaves his mum and dad Mike and Glenys and devoted siblings Laura and Tom.

At his funeral, Mike described Ross as ‘forever sensitive and tough, funny and faithful, loyal and loving’.

His wife-to-be Charlotte said he had struggled ‘more than any of us can comprehend’ but maintained his ‘kind caring soul’ despite his personal battles.

And his sister Laura thanked Ross for continuing to fight for them for so long – until the weight became too much.

Ross McCarthy (far right), with mum and dad Mike and Glenys, son Charlie and brother and sister Laura and Tom.Ross McCarthy (far right), with mum and dad Mike and Glenys, son Charlie and brother and sister Laura and Tom.
Ross McCarthy (far right), with mum and dad Mike and Glenys, son Charlie and brother and sister Laura and Tom.

"For that, we forgive you,” she added.

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In a long letter left to his family, Ross intimated he had simply ‘had enough’, but left instructions to his brother and sister to continue his fight for mental health support.

His family are now hoping sharing their story will raise awareness and lead to an improvement in treatment for people who suffer from mental health problems.

Mike added: “It was one of the things he put in his letter and as a family we are trying to honour that.

“Suicide is one of the main killers of men under the age of 45. We just want it to have parity with other illnesses like heart disease or cancer.

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“In sharing our pain with the world we want people to join us in this campaign. Depression is an illness like any other but there is not the same level of support.”

Ross’ family are raising money for CALM - the Campaign Against Living Miserably - in his memory. To contribute visit www.justgiving.com/fundraising/r-macca.

Samaritans (116 123) samaritans.org operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. Email Samaritans at [email protected]

In these confusing and worrying times, local journalism is more vital than ever. Thanks to everyone who helps us ask the questions that matter by taking out a digital subscription or buying a paper. We stand together. Nancy Fielder, editor.

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