Ex-Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Chris Kirkland opens up about painkiller addiction he has battled with for 10 years

The 41-year-old has previously spoken of his struggles with anxiety and depression, but in an interview with BBC Manchester he also revealed he has been battling a painkiller addiction for the last decade.

He described how his addiction became out of control during his time at Wednesday between 2012 and 2015, when his commute from Lancashire to Sheffield, via Snake Pass, was putting a huge strain on his mental health.

Chris told the BBC: “The anxiety of travelling to and from Sheffield was a big issue to start with. I covered it by saying it was my wife who struggled. Everyone had written me off as the last two years at Wigan I was out of favour and didn't play. I went to Wednesday and I was flying in pre-season and I was fit as I could be.

“I had the anxiety and trouble of travelling but two days before the first game I got a back injury. I thought if I don't play on Saturday I'm going to get crucified by the fans and press, and also there was a clause in the contract that if I missed a certain amount of games because of the back injury they could tear it up.

“I was just desperate to play that first game to make sure I didn't get hammered in the press so I took them [painkillers].

“It helped with the anxiety of travelling away from home and things just progressed from there. At the start you think 'I will just take them when I travel'. But it just progresses and your body become tolerant so you need more and more. They start to effect you mentally and you are a totally different person.

“You are withdrawn. I got home from training and shut the gates and didn't want to socialise. They completely changed me and I was totally addicted to them, I was taking 10 times the amount I should have in a day.”

He added: “Nobody knew and you lie. It was easy for me because I was travelling to and from Sheffield and I just kept them in the car. You are sneaky and you don't mean to hurt people but it's the addiction.”

The former Liverpool and England goalkeeper says he reached out for help when he joined Bury in 2016, and was supported by the Professional Footballers’ Association and stopped taking them for around a year.

But after retiring from football, Chris struggled with the lack of routine and was also still having issues with his back and started taking painkillers again.

He went to rehab for the first time in 2019, but admitted to taking painkillers again during lockdown; and more recently after getting some from the internet.

Chris said: “About five months ago I got some off the internet and took them one night where I was hallucinating and I was violently sick. Even after that, I woke up the next day and said I wouldn't take them again but I took some different ones again. Two weeks after that I broke down again and I went cold turkey at home. For a week, I was curled up in a corner and in the bed.

“I was aching and feeling sick and the withdrawal symptoms were the worst thing I have ever been through. I got through it thanks to my wife and daughter and I feel great. I knew the story would come out and now is the time.”

Chris adds that he has to live with the fact he has upset his wife and daughter, but says they were desperate for him to speak out.

“It took me 10 years but you have to talk and ask for help and it's the only way you can stay in recovery. I have tried to do it myself and failed many times but I knew if I didn't do it this time, I wouldn't be here any more,” said Chris.