Former Sheffield United forward Jess Clarke opens up on being ‘riddled with doubt’ after football
Former Sheffield United Women forward and England international Jess Clarke has spoken about being “riddled with doubt” after football and having to rebuild the confidence that helped take her to a World Cup.
Jess Clarke earned 51 senior caps for England and scored 11 goals during an international career which included the 2011 Women’s World Cup and two European Championships.
The former Lioness joined Sheffield United Women from Liverpool in 2021 and made an early impact with the Blades, scoring twice in a 3-1 Championship victory over Durham.
But Clarke has revealed that the certainty she carried throughout much of her playing career became much harder to find when football was no longer at the centre of her life.
Speaking exclusively to the Champions Speakers Agency, Clarke said she had possessed a strong belief from childhood that she would achieve something through football, even before she knew playing for England was a realistic possibility.
“It's hard to explain because really, when you look at it, there was no opportunities there. I didn't know that I could be an England player,” she said.
“All I knew is that I love football, and that's what I focused on. I just focused on the joy, what it created for me emotionally.
“And I just had this inherent feeling that I'd do something special.”
Clarke said that drive was apparent from an early age.
After finishing school, she would head to a nearby field and set herself the target of completing 50 laps before returning home.
“My mom would shout out the window going, ‘Jess, get inside now. It's getting dark,’” she said.
“And I'd like, ‘Mom, I've got five more laps.’ And that feeling, I just knew I'd do something special.”
That belief eventually carried Clarke into the England team, but she said the feeling disappeared after football and left her questioning what came next.
“But after football, that feeling went. And that were a crisis point for me,” she said.
“It really was because I was like, how do I emulate that feeling? Where do I go from now?
“And that's when I was riddled with doubt.
“We all doubt whether we're good enough. We all doubt whether we're capable.”
Clarke said she has since learned to approach confidence through preparation and repeated practice.
“But it's the methods and the practices that you put in place,” she said.
“The preparation for when you are called upon to step into them moments so you do feel confident.
“And then it's building them blocks slowly but surely of preparing yourself, executing it and going, ‘Oh God, I'm good at this.’ I can be something more. And then you integrate that confidence slowly.”
Clarke has also spoken about how different her confidence could be on and off the pitch.
Despite playing at international level, she said she was rarely one of the most vocal members of the England team.
“Believe it or not, when I was in the England team, in team meetings, I would not be vocal at all,” she said.
“Other people would speak on my behalf sometimes or I just let every other players take the floor. I was happy to do that.”
Those doubts became more apparent when she saw former teammates moving into careers such as football punditry.
“And for a long time, I was looking at them in admiration thinking, how have you got that confidence? Where does that come from?” she said.
Clarke said she began examining where her own beliefs came from and whether the thought patterns holding her back could be changed.
“So we all have our demons. We all have our things where we think we lack and I inherited some of that,” she said.
“And it was, how do I retrain myself?
“But we don't stop growing. We don't stop learning.
“And then the penny drops cuz I'm like, okay, so I can change this thought pattern. I can change this belief. And if I can change the thought pattern and change the belief, that means I can go on and do great things.”
She said she still experiences periods of doubt and negative thinking, but now tries to remember that those feelings will not last forever.
“I always say it to my partner, life fluctuates, which means thoughts and feelings don't last forever,” she said.
“So if thoughts and feelings don't last forever, that means it's going to change eventually.”
Clarke said she wants to use her own experience to encourage people who feel unable to pursue opportunities because of a lack of confidence.
“They may feel stuck in a rut. They may feel doubt. They may feel that they can't step onto a stage and talk publicly or they may feel like their dream is out of reach,” she said.
“And I am sat here today hoping that I can showcase that it is possible.”
One of the clearest lessons Clarke took from football came during her time at Notts County.
With Ellen White sidelined by injury, Clarke was moved into a more central attacking role. Her coaches also began working closely with her on an area of her game she considered a weakness: her left foot.
“And what they did, they invested in me as a person, not just as a player,” she said.
“And one of the coaches, he was a forwards coach. He's just incredible.
“He was, ‘Jess, you've not got a left foot.’
“And I didn't have a left foot and he worked so closely with me on my left foot continuously.”
Clarke continued the work outside formal training sessions, returning to the pitch at night to repeat the same exercises.
She recalled how the practice eventually became automatic during a match against Liverpool.
“Didn't even think about it. I got on my left foot.
“Bang. Top bins.
“And I was just like, ‘This is available to all. Everybody can do this.’
“6 weeks ago, I didn't have a left foot. I had the basics, but I didn't have a left foot where I could score from 25 yards.”
For Clarke, the experience became evidence of how repeated practice could build confidence.
“And it was just fascinating to see that and then how it builds your confidence,” she said.
She is now trying to apply the same principle away from football.
“Some of the dreams that I still want to go on and accomplish, I think it will happen,” Clarke said.
“It's just we have to believe it because you're not going to do something that you don't believe, right?”