Why there's no need to be home alone

PAULINE Softley discovered that her son precious son Daniel had been killed on a night out when his friend rang with the heartbreaking news.

She screamed and screamed, unable to take in what had happened, and was sat with her fingers in her ears when police arrived at her Sheffield home to inform her officially of the tragedy.

She did not want to hear them talking of her 20-year-old son being dead when he was in the prime of his life with everything to live for - she could not accept he was gone.

It is approaching the second anniversary of Daniel Massey's death and Pauline, 46, still hasn't fully come to terms with her loss.

"I still expect him to walk through the door everyday," she said.

"I have this constant yearning feeling, a yearning for him to be here with us, and I still think of him every day."

She wears his photograph in a locket around her neck and carries a lock of his hair with her at all times, but is unable to bear having any photographs of him on display in her house.

"Everyone copes differently but I just can't have his photographs up in the house. To see his face everyday would break my heart and be a constant reminder of our loss," she said.

Pauline has not visited Daniel's grave since she said her final goodbye to him at his funeral service, but she does feel strong enough to attend a new support group which has been set up to support the friends and relatives of murder and manslaughter victims.

She has even gone on a training course to help run the group in the hope of reaching out and helping as many people as she can that find themselves in the same position as herself.

Daniel, a bricklayer, was on a night out at the Arbourthorne Hotel, Errington Road, Arbourthorne, when he was attacked by Dean Walton, who was the landlord at the time.

Walton stabbed him through the heart when violence flared on the pub car park,` after Daniel's girlfriend became embroiled in a row with another woman.

Walton was ordered to serve a minimum term of 16 years and seven months behind bars before he can be considered for parole.

Pauline, from Birley, who is a carer for the elderly, said: "Nothing compares with talking to somebody who truly understands what you are going through and how you are feeling.

"I have not come to terms with his death yet - it was two years ago but I feel like he is still here, I keep expecting him to walk through the door. I don't think I will ever get over it but talking to people in a similar position is helping me."

She said the murder of a loved one causes "a ripple effect" through entire families. "Daniel's life was robbed from him; his death destroyed mine, too, and has affected the entire family.

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Click here for more news. We always feel that someone is missing,” she added.

South Yorkshire Police’s family liaison co-ordinator, Jill Thomas, said there was a real need for the group, known as SAMM (Support after Murder and Manslaughter.

“This group is not all doom and gloom, many people that attend find it really uplifting and a positive experience because of the strong bond people quickly develop with each other,” she said.

“It gives people a chance to talk in confidence about what happened and discuss any feelings and issues they have; also to recall their happier memories of their loved ones.

“Family liaison officers are there whenever families need them but, because of the number of deaths they deal with, they inevitably have to withdraw after trial and that leaves some relatives feeling a lack of support, which is why we have helped set this group up.

“I am concerned that there will be people sitting at home still struggling perhaps with the loss of a relative 10 or 15 years ago, so I hope the word spreads and families get in touch and attend a meeting because we know that feelings don't just stop at the end of a trial.”

Temporary Assistant Chief Constable Paul Broadbent, who helped set up the group, said: “Families affected by murder and manslaughter live the life sentence afterwards, so this support group is a positive step forward for South Yorkshire if it offers them help that has been lacking in the past.”