I’VE never been able to whistle.
And Lord knows, I’ve tried.
But I just couldn’t get the mechanics right.
My school pals would make it look easy and their explanations were foolproof.
Except for this fool.
I couldn’t get the hang of putting my fingers in my mouth, contorting my tongue to the right shape and blowing hard to produce that piercing, far-carrying whistle that drives sheep dogs to distraction.
So you can understand my relief to learn that wolf whistling has been banned.
You see, I am no longer an outsider.
Because nobody is wolf whistling (or, certainly not allowed to do so on Wimpey’s building sites) I don’t have to pretend.
I’ve never wolf whistled in my life. Couldn’t if I wanted to. But, to be honest, I’ve never felt the urge.
And I have to admit that I am now well and truly past the urge.
But I cannot help but feel some sympathy for a chap’s right to whistle in a wolfish manner.
And, conversely, I can see the point of women taking offence.
What I can’t get to grips with, though, is the sub-text of the outcry from the feminists who feel demeaned by wolf whistlers.
They are trying to control what we think. And that is one control too far in my book.
That is what is wrong with this whole PC debate. Somebody, somewhere, is always trying to make us all behave in exactly the same bland manner.
Take away any spark of individuality and personality.
Drain away any bit of fun and frivolity.
The world is a serious place – if it likes it or not.
And the thought police will make sure we don’t step over the line.
From their lofty perch on their high horses, the world is also a very simple place.
While it really is rather complicated. And, with that complication, comes the magic of what makes our world interesting and bearable.
OK. Wolf whistling may offend a few people (I don’t believe all women are offended. Some may even like it, most will just tut and move on), but it doesn’t actually hurt anyone.
Except, of course, for those who have such a heightened sense of their own importance that they think we should all think the same way as they do.
Mind you, if we did they might be in for a shock.
If the world has to stop wolf whistling because some women are offended by it, don’t blokes get a say in the matter?
For instance, it’s not a pretty sight to behold a, let’s say rotund, lass waddling towards you in a skimpy outfit.
At one time, feminists quite rightly said it was sexist and insulting to think women couldn’t handle higher education.
Now those same feminist factions insist women need protection.
Come on, what do they want?
Women to be independent minded or wrapped in cotton wool by the man in their life?
They can’t have their cake and eat it.
Or perhaps that is why they look so gross squeezing into skimpy clothing.