FAIR POINT: K-Stew Vs R-Patz

AFFAIR: 22-year-old Kristen cheated on boyfriend and Twlight co-star Robert, 26, left, with 41-year-old director Rupert
AFFAIR: 22-year-old Kristen cheated on boyfriend and Twlight co-star Robert, 26, left, with 41-year-old director Rupert
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HOLLYWOOD and relationships have never mixed.

Ironic really that a place so densely populated by beautiful people, who look like they should be having the time of their lives, would incur so much misery, betrayal and scandal on the relationship front.

A place where you haven’t really ‘made it’ unless you’ve got several broken engagements and divorces under your belt. And this isn’t a new thing.

You only have to look at the tragic tales of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio or Audrey Hepburn and William Holden to see that the curse was carved out long ago.

When a young drama graduate signs on the dotted line of his first movie role, he’s not just stepping into a world of punishing promotional schedules and potential million dollar paychecks.

He’s bidding farewell to his residency of planet earth and all the rules that apply there. He lives in Hollywood now, where privacy is a luxury that money can’t buy, people are incapable of maintaining a long-term relationship and the pressures of this lifestyle often lead to a stint or two in rehab.

The latest duo to fall victim to the Hollywood curse are Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

For anyone who hasn’t been following the story, it features four extremely beautiful people caught in an agonising mess after two of the BPs (that’s Beautiful People to you and I) decided to ‘spice up’ their perfect lives by having an illicit affair and getting the whole thing caught on camera by the paparazzi.

Dearie me. Yet hardly surprising. These days, even the Hollywood pairings you think you can count on seem to be ending due to ‘irreconcilable differences.’

And my theory as to the why: money. Money raises the stakes on everything in Hollywood, including relationships. In real life, after just a few weeks of dating, we’d be buying each other a £40 bottle of perfume or a reasonably-priced Next jumper for Christmas. In Hollywood, it’s a $10,000 necklace for her, a vintage watch for him.

Given the wealth in play, anything else would be an insult (naturally dahling). If, two weeks into a ‘normal’ relationship, our new love interest was sent away on business for a couple of weeks, we’d hope they’d call or Skype. In Hollywood, Mr Chiselled Jaw would clear his schedule and purchase some first class round trip tickets so that he could fly over to visit Miss Teeny Waist on the set of her new movie in Italy on the weekends.

They don’t need to save for things like houses or engagement rings, leaving them free to launch into all sorts of commitments the second their sentimental hearts start beating a little faster, without taking the time to think things through.

And when, three months in, they’ve already announced their love to the world on the red carpet, there’s no year or two required to save and plan a wedding. A quick call to a wedding coordinator and a million dollar bank transfer means they’re getting married in some romantic hideaway the following month.

Likewise, at the first sign that things aren’t perfect, there are no worries regarding the financial strains of separation or the practicalities of selling homes and assets. Each simply buys another mansion to live in while the army of lawyers and personal secretaries are left to sort out the messy stuff. And there’s not too much time to worry about being single again, as the next red carpet event with a fresh wave of beautiful people is already on the horizon.

Lather, rinse, repeat.