NOT everyone can fill Sheffield City Hall with songs about their trusty Austin Ambassador Y-reg car or the quandary of having Two Margarines in the fridge, writes digital editor Graham Walker.
But then not everyone is John Shuttleworth.
The Yamaha PSS portable keyboard singer-songwriter - a sublime creation by Sheffield comedy genius Graham Fellows, aged 51 - has even managed to write about life’s hard decisions, like starting your treacle pudding, only to be offered some left over shepherd’s pie and peas. What do you do?
I Can’t Go Back To Savoury Now probably won’t be picking up a Grammy award any time soon.
But it’s the type of comedy song that will have fans laughing out loud when he plays a home coming concert at Sheffield City Hall, in the “big room”, on Wednesday, March 9, at 8pm.
Not bad for a man with slightly nerdish tendencies, who claims he can’t usually get a booking at Crookes Working Men’s Club.
Decent and benevolent, but with a painful lack of self-awareness, there’s an unfortunate gap between his actual musical talent and his steadfast belief in the possibility of his eventual pop super-stardom.
That’s the main source of the character’s tragi-comedy.
John, who attempted to have his Pigeons in Flight song selected for the Eurovision Song Contest, gave Star readers and Magic AM listeners a sneak preview of his hilarious act and chatted to us at the radio station.
His “next-door neighbour and sole agent”, Ken Worthington is more of a hindrance than a help to John’s life.
John, described as Sheffield’s finest synthesizer player and twaddle talker, is instructing the nation in moral matters.
Well, he would have done - if next door neighbour and sole agent, Ken Worthington hadn’t mistyped the show’s title, turning “morals” into “more rolls”.
VIDEO: Press the play button to see part of his Magic AM performance and our interview.
Tickets for John Shuttleworth’s No More Rolls Tour, at Sheffield City Hall, are from £15 each, subject to booking fee. Buy in person at the box office, call 0114-2789 789 or visit http://www.sheffieldcityhall.co.uk
Special guests will be the concreter from Goole, Dave Tordoff, His ignorance is comical bliss” and misanthropic Midlands media lecturer, Brian Appleton. An inspired creation.
For more details visit www.shuttleworths.co.uk