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Real men don’t do quiche. But they love pies.

Proper pies, with pastry top and bottom. Hand-made pies, with real gravy. And the bigger, the better.

But while a man’s mouth waters at the very mention of the P-word, a woman’s stomach baulks.

It’s instant gratification, is a pie; and it’s a three-in-one. Carbs and protein with lashings of moistness.

In Rotherham, Dan’s Melt in The mouth Steak and Ale Cow Pie is edging towards legend status.

My roast belly pork came in a huge hunk – honestly, it was enough for a three-man Sunday lunch.

It loped alongside a mountain of creamy mash and hefty portions of typical pub veg – sliced, boiled carrots and peas – under a velvety coating of rich gravy.

The meat was well-roasted; there was barely any fat beneath the crispy crackling, which would appeal to Jack Sprats. But I like my belly pork soft, unctuous and oozing. And I’d have preferred it with something that flattered it. At the very least, a ring of apple and a slice of black pudding.

Tasty and hearty though it was, I wasn’t keen . I had what was left packed up for our dog, and announced that, as food writer, I

I wished I’d had that pie.

Still peckish, I would have liked a pudding. Most probably the hot apple pie like grandma made. But it was too late. The kitchen staff had gone home. It was only 8.40pm but apparently you’re supposed to put your entire order in before the kitchen closes at 8.15pm. Regulars are obviously used to it, but new customers, flocking for the cow pie, are going to get caught out. Who expects to decide on a pud before they’ve eaten their main course? Could I suggest the pub either persuades one of their cooks to stay on an extra hour, or at least warn customers when the last orders are being taken.

I did what women do when nothing sweet and calorific is to hand; I had a cappuccino instead.

And the best dessert of all arrived just after nine... The sound of a plunking piano and a good old sing song.

The pub was suddenly bursting at the seams with pensioners fresh from their xx night choir practise. They always make the Bay Horse their port of call afterwards.