Doug Hodgson determined to keep fighting after ex-Sheffield United favourite's latest gruelling operation

Hodgson is recalling the day when, at just 29 years old, he went up for a routine header in training and a disc in his spine exploded. It hit his spinal cord, and he never played professional football again.

In the months and years since, the impact - both physical and mental - has been severe and last week, the former Sheffield United defender underwent his most gruelling operation yet.

For years, too afraid to go under the knife, he flew back to England every nine months to have his nerves burnt instead. No surgeon in Australia would undertake the procedure. But after 20 years in and out of hospital, of neck braces and bandages and 11 epidurals, he decided he had had enough.

"The first thing I'll be doing when I wake up is checking I can move my two hands and my two feet," Hodgson said before going under the knife.

"The old saying is true: 'Play now, pay later'. I've gone to bed every night for the last 20 years wondering if I am going to be better in the morning or worse.

"If you look at my hands, they are different colours because of the damage to my spine and to my circulation.

"To be honest, my wife is worried about me spiralling again and I've got to make sure I'm in the right frame of mind. I bought a dummy and said to her: 'When I'm being a pain in the a*se, just give me the dummy and that'll be a warning for me to pull my head in'.

"I try to stay upbeat and keep a smile on my face. Deep down, does it hurt me? It f****** does, mate. But do you show it? No, you don't."

Suddenly, he is laughing and smiling again.

"It was a great header, by the way. Went f****** miles."

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Hodgson was at Northampton Town, on loan from Oldham, when the damage was done. He thought he had just pulled a muscle and actually continued training, remembering another ball in the air shortly after. Instead of heading it, he brought it down on his chest. No-one, least of all Hodgson, knows the damage one last header could have caused.

At 29 his career was over, but the fact he had one at all was remarkable in itself. As a teenager he was in a car crash caused by a drunk driver and was told he would never play football at professional level.

Instead he worked as a doorman and a debt collector, dabbling in kickboxing on the side. Then one night, at a nightclub he worked at, "a bloke tried to give me a slap, so I gave him one first".

The police wanted to speak to Hodgson and he felt it would be a good time to move on, settling in Perth. By coincidence Dave 'Harry' Bassett's Sheffield United were touring Western Australia after their relegation from the Premier League in 1994, Hodgson impressed in a friendly game against the Blades and earned a move to England.

"When I was a bouncer," Hodgson said, "I thought: 'This is a great life!' I wasn't drinking, I was getting paid and there were beautiful women everywhere.

"Then Harry came and f***** it up for me!"

Hodgson's United career amounted to 38 appearances over a three-year period, but he left a bigger impression at Bramall Lane than the numbers may suggest.

As did United on him. Former teammates and friends from Sheffield are regular visitors to his house in Melbourne, which features a huge Blades badge engraved into his home bar.

Hodgson had loan spells at Plymouth and Burnley before joining Oldham, and believes Neil Warnock would have brought him back to United as a player but for his devastating injury. Hodgson then became United's reserve team manager under Warnock, and was being primed as Warnock's successor at Bramall Lane. But his father fell ill and, already struggling to come to terms with the end of his own career, his mental struggles saw him return Down Under.

"It's quite funny, really," Hodgson said. "I got my MRI results on December 1st, and my car accident was on December 1, 1985.

"I looked at what it said and thought: 'Here we go. This is going to be another battle. Can I fight back from this one?'

"I cried all the way down the motorway. I told myself I wasn't going to give up this time, because I didn't give up after the car crash. But eventually I had to, and the last 20 years have been a f****** battle.

"I've got a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids and if I didn't, I probably wouldn't be here.

"I've seen a psychologist and there have been low points in my life. I am still battling now.

"Have I fought pain for the last 20 years? Yes I have. Do I live in pain every day? Yes I do. Do I take medication? Yes I do. Do I take some bad stuff sometimes? Yes I do.

"Has it been a big hilly road? Yes it has. Have there been some positives in there as well? Yes there have.

"You've just got to keep going. The man upstairs keeps putting brick walls in front of me and I'll just try and keep knocking them down."

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Since his latest operation, Hodgson has been out of bed and walking, with the help of a frame. His catheter has been removed and he hopes to be moved to another hospital soon to continue his rehabilitation.

For 20 years he has suffered constant headaches and pays thousands each year in medical insurance and bills. Was his football career worth the suffering?

"I've got goosebumps thinking about that question," he admitted. "It's a hard one.

"I'll never forget my career - I wake up and am reminded of it every day, just in the wrong way. I wake up in pain and think: 'Why am I here?'

"The answer is that I probably wouldn't change the majority of it. There's always someone worse off than you and if you can remember that, you have half a chance of being positive.

"I'm lucky because I know what causes my problems. A lot of people don't know what gives them their troubles. I know what beats me down and hurts me every day. I've never carried my kids on my shoulders. I've never thrown them into the swimming pool. It's the little things I've missed.

"But I've got two beautiful boys and if that's the worst that happens, then it's not so bad.

"That's the reflection I need to keep positive, because that tunnel is a f****** dark tunnel, mate. I'm sure a lot of people like me have been in there as well.

"You've just got to make sure there's some light at the end of it."

Thank you for reading this article, one of dozens we publish every single day to provide you with the best, most up-to-date and most informative coverage of YOUR club. This depth of Blades coverage costs, so to help us maintain the high-quality reporting that you are used to from the football team at The Star, please consider taking out a subscription to our new discounted sports-only package. You'll find all the details HERE. Your support is much appreciated. Chris Holt, Football Editor