‘TACHES, tragedy,time-wasters and a tale of two managers.
Just another week in the all-embracing drama of the foootball world.
Back when Eddie Colquhoun, Peter Rodrigues and Trevor Hockey sported more hair than a hippy’s harem no-one bothered to check their tackle - on or off the pitch.
Now us blokes are encouraged to have a rummage in our shreddies before and after every game - and at half-time - to check for lumps in the old onion bag.
Crude maybe but we chaps, strangely enough, need encouragement to keep an eye on things so that’s why a new campaign has footballers and celebrities growing moustaches to raise awareness of another man killer - prostate cancer.
In the United Kingdom prostate cancer is the second most common cause of cancer death after lung cancer, with around 35,000 cases a year diagnosed of which around 10,000 men die.
Gary Lineker and of course Mark Lawrenson are going all hairy on us in support of the campaign, which gives Lawro chance to re-live the golden age of the football tache.
Which may be highly amusing but makes the point that illness and death can be avoided by awareness in the right area.
Which is exactly where Billy Sharp made his point last week.
On the field three days after the death of his two-day-old son he scored a goal and pulled up his shirt to reveal: ‘Thats for you son’ written on his t-shirt.
On Twitter he added: “My goal tonight was the most important goal of my career dedicated to my brave boy Luey Jacob Sharp. I love u son sleep tight.”
It’s old news now but Sheffield-born Billy has to get a mention for sheer guts.
From heartfelt, emotional and meaningful events to the pretty pointless at the other end of football’s importance scale.
England versus Spain. A friendly international that will tell us three things we already know.
A) Spain are the best team in the world and leagues ahead of England.
B) No-one really cares about England any more outside of a major tournament - when we can hardly bear to look anyway.
C) Wayne Rooney HAS to go to the European Championships next year. We’re not very good with him - imagine how bad we’ll be without him.
While we’re imagining how about a world where Alex Ferguson had come to Sheffield United rather than Manchester?
Far fetched? Not really, United had showed an interest in the great man while he was at Aberdeen - as did Arsenal.
But we all know what happened and his achievements will probably never be equalled. Would he have done a simlar job at Sheffield United, finances permitting?
Or might he have failed, turned his back on football management and gone back to the pub he ran after he quit playing?
We’ll never know but history hangs on such decisions and the story of both United’s would be entirely different had he chosen Sheffield.
It’s becoming a big deal to get something out of Wednesday. Brentford manager Uwe Rossler’s response to the 0-0 on Saturday told it’s own story.
Gary Megson’s look tells a different one of course and shows how expectations are up at Hillsborough.