Kevin Gage's Blades Column: The story of Sheffield United's remarkable season would be too far-fetched for a Hollywood blockbuster

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If George Lucas, Steven Spielberg & J.K. Rowling had got together back in August and decided to create an out-of-this-world, box-office blockbuster, magical fantasy fairy story of a film about the Blades fortunes for the coming season, I don’t actually think the script of this season would have made it beyond a first draft.

It would have been filed in the drawer reserved for ‘Too improbable, too far-fetched & too unbelievable’. To be fair, given our previous history of starring in our very own X-rated horror stories over the past few decades, us Blades were right to be cautious in the extreme about the new season. Unlike some, we didn’t even have a dream, because for Blades fans they often turn into nightmares.

Therefore to be sat miles clear at the top of the division, crowned as champions, breaking umpteen records along the way and one game away from the 100 points for a season mark is more than any Blades could ever have possibly dreamed about. We are still all in a bit of a red and white happy haze, as if being followed around by those celebratory flares, which does make a pleasant change from the storm clouds and thunder that usually hover over our heads!

On Saturday at the MK Hilton Hotel that masquerades as a football stadium every other week, the season that couldn’t really get any better, got even better. The Blades put on a show of such stunning power, creative invention, and sheer quality it had to be seen to be believed. We swarmed all over the opposition and in truth they never really stood a chance. It was also a performance of strength in depth as some who don’t usually feature on a match day made their presence felt and fitted in just perfectly.

It was a sight to behold and a display that will live long in the memory, and with more like that next season, we’ll take the Championship by storm. So that’s the fans acknowledged... now we’ll discuss the team!

We won 3-0. Of course we did. We’re Chris Wilder’s new Blades and we’re league champions. Winning is what we do. It’s what his teams usually do. Our class and quality told in the end as we clinically dispatched a passionless MK side on their soulless hotel back garden. In truth the victory was a sideshow to the party proceedings, but it was a fitting way to end our away day travels, and to pay tribute to the amazing levels of support that have driven the team on this season. It truly does make a difference, believe me.

This season has been nothing short of incredible. As I stated above at the start of this article, you couldn’t have scripted it much better. We even gave the others a few games head start just to make it a bit more unreal! No-one connected with the club in any way shape of form genuinely expected it. A few brave people predicted it, but more in desperate hope than sound judgement, and well done if you’ve made a few quid on us at the bookies! We’ve been favourites most years, so you’ve hopefully recouped some losses!

So after 45 games, we’re nearly at the end of this remarkable season and much as we hate this division, it’s a season we don’t really want to finish! But all good things must come to an end, and it’s probably just as well as this extended promotion party is taking its toll on a few! On Sunday, as we lift the trophy high into the Bramall Lane air, it will finally end and we’ll reach the final page of the story of this 2016-17 season, and WHAT a story it’s been.

One day someone may even write a book about it, but personally I’m looking forward to the film version. Chris Wilder as a Sheffield superhero with Alan Knill as the BFG assistant?…. Get Spielberg back on the phone. It’s a sure fire box office hit! UTB

PS And in a dramatic final page plot twist, we’re now apparently re-signing Ched…… You really couldn’t make this stuff up!

Kevin Gage owns The Manor House: bar/hotel/cafe, High St, Dronfield. @ManorHouse_S18. Follow him on Twitter: @gageykev