Guest Column: Why I hope Sheffield United fans can take a minute to think about mental health - as I will be doing, to keep the black dog from the door

I never know when the curtains have been pulled shut, or why it was happening.

The sun can have been shining through and the room bathed in light. Then the shadows begin to start, the nagging self-doubt begins to kick in and then the black dog that I have owned for years comes scratching at the door to be let in.

If it was in the house you could flick the light switch on and make the darkness go away, even for only a short while. But this place doesn’t have electricity and sometimes I doubt that it ever will.

Years ago, it was easy to find artificial light. When the dog wanted to come in I could dig in and find one of the clown masks that I had made for myself when I was younger, and they still fitted me back then. A quick transformation and one of the alter egos could come out and entertain the general world as if nothing was wrong.

Football is no different. Gary Speed was one of the game’s true gents - funny, warm and one of the best I have been privileged to have known and spend time in the company of. He had a stellar career as a player and a managerial one that was showing promise, as well. Ended without warning. A family and world of friends left to mourn the loss.

We recently saw all FA Cup games, including Sheffield United’s at home to AFC Fylde, kick off one minute late to encourage people to consider and think about mental illness for the Heads Up campaign. Thousands of fans watched games across the country and, of course, the world, in the most famous domestic cup competition in the world, and I hope all involved took the time to do just that. It could make such a difference.

The problem with depression, or any form of mental illness, is that few of us want to admit that we wear masks to get us through and, by the time you realise how bad things have got, you can’t take the mask off anyway. Like a lot of masks, however, the cracks that have appeared behind it are often so big that it's going to take a huge amount of work to make them good again.

There are those that I have known and worked with, called friends, who, to the world in general, had it all. Good looks, money, lovely families and everything to go for. On the face of it, no issues. No problems. Some have made it into the light. Found help - talked to people about how they felt and what it meant. Found the light switch and found a way of controlling the dog at last.

Others haven’t been so lucky. One friend kissed his family goodbye, picked up his packed lunch, drove his car to the railway station, parked it up and put a ticket from the machine in the windscreen so it didn’t get a fine, walked onto the platform and stepped out in front of the train to Plymouth. End of.

Another, by way of social media, alerted the wife he loved above anything else in life of an indiscretion years before - a moment of weakness and something he bitterly regretted. Hurt and wounded, she stepped away and went to a friend to consider how to deal with it, returning the following day to find he had ended it all in the garage. No comeback, no second chance. The black dog had taken him for the longest walk of all.

All of these people were also amongst the most hysterically funny and warm people I have ever known. Characters, entertainers - the life and soul of any party or night out. Liked by all and loved to the ends of the earth. The sun shone out of them and they radiated light. The same could not be said of what was going on inside them. In their heart and soul, there was darker work afoot.

You may have gathered that the person at the beginning of this piece is quite often me. I never know when it's coming or for how long it will last, but when it arrives it’s those I love the most that are affected by it the most and, as I get older, I find it harder to deal with. Harder to climb out of the well. Harder to find the light switch.

Like them- I am the class clown, the joker. The life and soul. The comedian.

What lies beneath, however, is far from this. I’m lucky, though. I have a family that loves me and one that I adore and that is more than many. Next time you are in the ground, on the Kop or the TC Stand or wherever you sit, just take a minute to think how many around you may be struggling. Do the same at work or at home. Not everyone is lucky enough not to have the dog scratching at the door - and just being able to listen may just make all of the difference.

*John Garrett is the supporter liaison officer and club historian for Sheffield United.

**For mental health help and support, contact Mind via 0300 123 3393, text 86463 or visit www.mind.org.uk.

***Samaritans also run a free, 24/7 hotline and can be contacted on 116 123.