The Diary: Phew! Magistrate pens erotic novel...

Malcolm Bruce Smith
Malcolm Bruce Smith
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Malcolm Bruce Smith insists he isn’t sex obsessed.

He’s a former Sheffield magistrate who sat in court dishing out justice and jail terms to South Yorkshire crooks and criminals for more than 20 years.

But now this legal eagle has turned his hand to his true, er, passion. He’s just released a steamy erotic novel.

The book - called Thunder From The Sea and published by Scarborough based Farthings - is the climax (sorry) of two years’ work. And if you like your novels to come with more bang for their buck, this 440-page steamy novel, set during World War One, might be for you.

There’s sex outdoors, sex on boats, and sex on kitchen tables. There’s sex between women, sex between three people, and sex between a son and (crikey!) his father’s partner. There’s sex - or at least the promise of sex - which ends with a castration. Just occasionally, the deed is done in a bed. Though not often.

“But no, I’m not sex obsessed,” says Malcolm, who served on the bench at Sheffield Magistrates’ Court for 11 years and then in Rotherham for two more. “I always felt I had a novel in me and I thought I’d include a bit of erotica because everyone likes a bit of steam.”

Women especially, it seems. More on that later...

For now Malcolm, 69, decided to write the novel following years of indecision after wife Norma took a book out the library, and hated every word.

“She said, ‘If this rubbish can get published, get on writing’,” recalls the grandfather-of-two. “So I did.”

That was in about 2010.

By then the couple, who had lived in Crowland Road, Sheffield Lane Top, for almost 25 years, had moved to Scarborough, and the seaside town inspired the story.

“Being a magistrate was a volunteer position,” says Malcolm. “My job was a bus inspector. When I took early retirement, we moved to the coast in 2002.”

He learned how the town had been bombarded by the German navy in 1914 and decided to set the story around that.

“When I first started writing it was supposed to be an adventure with a bit of erotica,” he explains. “And it is that, but the erotica did take on a life of his own.”

Which has gone down well with women. Some 150 copies have been sold on pre-order - “and about 140 of them are female customers,” says Malcolm.

“I didn’t expect that.”

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