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Ever seen a badger pole dance? We have

Boris the badger
Boris the badger
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I hereby introduce you to Boris, our ‘resident’ badger!

My mother and I first saw him ambling around our back garden on an October evening in 2012, and the rest is history.

What’s more, being lovers of all wildlife, we wouldn’t have it any other way!

Without DNA testing or electronic tagging, we can never be certain it’s the same badger, but we like to think it is.

When he comes on the patio we can get a very close view of him from behind our patio doors and he really is a beautiful creature, his markings are so regular and distinctive that he could’ve been handpainted.

He’s become quite the celebrity.

Family and friends all ask about Boris and he’s also had a photo shoot. The photos come out remarkably well considering they were taken from indoors with just the aid of a torch.

He sometimes brings his ‘other half’, Boudicca, for dinner for two at Chez Langan and they’re a delight to see.

Sure, you hear all sorts of negative things about badgers, Bovine TB for a start. I think you can guess that I’m in the ‘pro-vaccines and anti – culling’ camp on that score.

People also report their lawns or cricket/football pitches looking like a map of the moon when they’ve dug holes here, there and everywhere, while seeking out worms.

They’ve also been known to eat hedgehogs too and as we also love hedgehogs, that’s not good at all, I know!

In addition, leaving food out for wildlife can, I’m aware, attract vermin, so I only throw out a limited amount as night falls. Therefore, it’s not hanging around for too long until Boris comes along to hoover it all up – before any potential ‘King Rat’ gets a chance!

Oh, we’ve had our moments with Boris! He’s climbed up our bird feeding station in search of the food on there that we’ve left out for our feathered friends.

Ever seen a badger pole dancing? We have!

Also, when he has Boudicca with him, it can get pretty noisy, if you know what I mean.

Still, for all his imperfections we love Boris to bits and he’s certainly earned his stripes with us by providing so much nocturnal entertainment!

Long may King Boris reign over our back lawn.

CM Langan

Sheffield, S8