I HAD a wart on my thumb once.
Funnily enough, it never occurred to me that I could be rid of it by blasting it with a shotgun.
Desperate measures? Doncaster garden centre security guard Sean Murphy surely had the last word in hammer-cracking nut-isms.
He did just that - or so he claimed in court - and is now without a finger and a job and has a suspended prison sentence hanging over him. He said he’d tried everything else.
Wartless hands-up those who reckon his story just doesn’t add up? That no one could be mad enough to try blasting a wart away with a firearm?
Not even a bloke from Doncaster. Not even to dispense with a wart the size of a fingernail.
Wart (sorry) was Murphy really doing with that shotgun on that fateful day at the garden centre?
Taking pot shots at the pigeons, perchance? Stalking the garden gnomes?