Things you should never say to anyone from Sheffield
And, like all humans, there are some things that massively get under our skin. So here's a warning of the 17 things you should never say to anyone from Sheffield.
Don't insult us by offering anything else than the nectar of the God's - Yorkshire Tea. If it's the new Gold range then you're our new best mate. Let's not and say we did. You're heading the right way for a clip round the ear sunshine! Have I ever seen the GREATEST BRITISH MOVIE EVER MADE THAT JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE FILMED IN SHEFFIELD? Yes, yes I have. The only time this question is acceptable is if you're singing along to the actual song. How dare you besmirch the great name of Sheffield FC - founded in 1857 when Notts County only turned up five years later. Why would we need to make the trip north when we've got our own better festival right here? Keep your Leeds Fest, we've got Tramlines. First of all it's the perfect accompaniement to a rest, or any meal for that matter. Second of all, get out of our house. We're not called the Steel City for nothing. There may be fewer steelworks and steelworkers than in its heyday but Sheffield is now producing more steel than ever before. Do you mean the oldest football in the world? Or Wednesday or United? We're not mindreaders. We prefer the term 'money savvy'. I'll just leave this picture of Jarvis Cocker here while you apologise for that ridiculous remark. Don't embarrass yourself duck. Leave it to the professionals. Tune in on March 4 and send your apology to us in the post. I'm sorry, were all our parks, woodlands and the entire Peak District not enough for you? I will buy you a nice meal at The Milestone just so you can admit how wrong you were. You're in a reyt knot then because there's nowt you can do it about. Apart from learn the lingo.