THE GRINCH’S ADVENT CALENDAR: Crackers...the biggest joke of all

To mark the countdown to Christmas, every day we will be opening our alternative advent calendar - what annoys us most about the ‘most wonderful time of the year’.

Monday, 7th December 2015, 4:24 pm

While it may be a time for fun and families for some, for others it’s a festive hell, purgatory wrapped up in an unwanted present and draped in tinsel-covered torment.

Here’s what our very own office Grinch has to say about it:

December 7: Crackers

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In a season brimming with rip-off items, crackers surely top the list.

These rolled up bits of paper and cardboard cost a fortune, and give little if any enjoyment in return.

A mini tug of war, followed by the worst firework effect imaginable. Somebody usually cheats by holding it close to the middle to ensure they land the prize, which more often than not whacks an unsuspecting grandparent in the forehard during the struggle.

When they do find it among the stuffing, it’s a must-have plastic moustache that makes your eyes water, or a cheap bottle opener. And that’s if you’re lucky.

Then there’s the groan from the notoriously-awful joke, and the paper crowns are unfurled and worn by everyone at the table to signify just how much fun this whole saga is. Oh Joy.