"I’m being penalised for falling in love": South Yorkshire woman's fight for fair fertility funding

Living in South Yorkshire, Jenny has found herself on the wrong side of what many now call the “postcode lottery” of NHS-funded IVF in England.

Her story is deeply personal, but also painfully common - shedding light on the stark inconsistencies in fertility funding across the country.

“It’s not just about me, it’s about the fact that someone living in Leeds or Manchester - just a short drive away - can get their treatment funded, and I can’t,” she said.

“It feels like we’re being punished for our postcode,” Jenny added.

Jenny’s journey

Jenny was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries at the age of 15. At the time, she was too young to understand the long-term implications; she was simply put on the mini pill to manage her periods.

But as she grew older and met her now-husband, Martin Rice, thoughts of starting her own family became a priority.

“I never wanted to have a baby with just anyone, it had to be with someone I truly loved and wanted to raise a family with,” she explained.

“Now people are meeting later in life, starting families later. We shouldn’t be punished for that.”

Her fertility journey officially began in 2021, just after she and her husband married during the pandemic.

By 2022, they were actively going down the NHS pathway, navigating a complex and emotionally draining process.

But Jenny was met with a crushing reality- she did not qualify for NHS-funded IVF because her partner has children from a previous relationship. That technicality meant she was effectively disqualified - even though they share no biological children together.

“I’m being penalised for falling in love with someone who already has kids,” she said.

“And he’s being penalised for a relationship that didn’t work out, that’s not how healthcare should work.”

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A costly dream

Jenny was referred from Rotherham Hospital to the Jessop Wing in Sheffield. But unlike others who receive NHS support, she had to pay upfront for her consultations and tests. She's been told she must begin treatment within six months or risk losing the referral altogether.

“We’re desperately trying to raise the money now, it’s a race against the clock,” she said.

Private IVF isn’t cheap, with costs ranging from £3,000 to over £10,000 per cycle.

Jenny said she has considered going abroad for the treatment, but is worried about how the NHS aftercare will be implemented in response.

For this reason, many couples are forced to choose between their dream of parenthood and financial stability.

As Martin was self employed at the time - he was forced to take on loans during COVID to keep afloat. This has added extra pressure to their fundraising efforts.

“I’m working every hour I can to earn a bonus - might as well have three jobs with the way I’m working. I’ve even tried selling my wedding dress,” Jenny said.

“But time is against me - I turn 35 soon, and I’ve been told my chances will drop by 50 per cent after that.”

The emotional strain

Beyond the financial strain, the emotional toll is immense.

Jenny described feeling guilty, not just for needing help, but for how infertility makes her feel when she sees others having children.

“Of course I’m happy for them but there’s always that tinge of jealousy. And then I feel guilty for even feeling that.”

She also said that the process has made her feel guilty that she cannot conceive naturally, forcing the family to spend money on fertility treatments.

She’s candid about how the situation could strain relationships.

“Luckily, my husband and I are strong, but I know he sometimes feels guilty too, because it’s his past relationship that disqualifies us,” she explained.

Even their two stepdaughters feel the impact. Family holidays have been postponed and birthday presents scaled back.

Jenny is worried about how this will shape their childhood memories.

“I love them so much and want the best medical care for them. And I want them to grow up in a world where, if they face fertility struggles, the system won’t fail them like it’s failing me,” said Jenny.

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A national inequity

While Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland have standardised fertility funding, England's system is fractured.

Each Integrated Care Board (ICB) decides its own eligibility criteria, meaning access to IVF can vary wildly, even between neighbouring cities.

“This shouldn’t be down to your address, the criteria should be about whether the child is going into a loving, stable home,” Jenny said.

She said the couple have considered relocating, purely to get funding, but they do not want to negatively impact Martin's children.

She’s spoken to her local MP, Ed Miliband, who has said he is also concerned by this issue, and has written to the Health Secretary to raise her concerns.

“He’s been really supportive, but we need national change. Women’s health in general feels like it’s constantly being brushed under the rug,” said Jenny.

Turning to TikTok

Jenny’s taken to TikTok to share her story, and it’s struck a nerve.

One video, titled “When the NHS says you can’t have IVF because of your postcode”, went viral, racking up over 33,000 views.

She now receives 20 messages a day, from women who relate, from others who have successfully conceived, and even from those who never could.

“Some of the comments give me hope, others break my heart. But the worst are the trolls who say IVF shouldn’t be funded at all,” revealed Jenny.

“It is nice to have this kind of community online though, because going through something like this makes you feel incredibly lonely.”

She’s also launched an online GoFundMe campaign.

In her heartfelt message, she posted: “This is a little embarrassing and feels a little shameful, but I will do anything to make my dream come true... We’ve been told that due to our current family situation - my partner already having children - we are not eligible for further NHS funding. This has been soul-crushing for me.”

The campaign is nearing its goal - if they raise just £1,300 more, they can book with a clinic and begin treatment.

To donate, follow this link.

Why change is needed

Jenny’s story is more than just one woman’s quest for motherhood, it’s a call for systemic change.

“We pay taxes like everyone else, it would just be nice if that money helped make our dream come true, too,” she said.

Jenny knows she may be running out of time but she’s not giving up.

“This is bigger than just me - I want to believe that one day, when my stepdaughters grow up, if they ever need help like this, the system won’t let them down.”

What the NHS says

The Star contacted NHS South Yorkshire Integrated Care Board, asking for an explanation on why the criteria was in place, and why it varied from other areas in the country.

A spokesperson for NHS South Yorkshire said: “The Access to Fertility Treatment /IVF policy in South Yorkshire was agreed between clinicians and experts from across the Yorkshire and Humber region, and all Yorkshire and Humber NHS Integrated Care Boards have adopted the same access criteria in the policy.

“As NHS resources are limited, the policy only offers infertility treatment to those couples who have no children. Couples where one partner has a child from a previous relationship are not eligible.

“If a clinician feels that there are exceptional clinical circumstances, then they may submit an Individual Funding Request on the patient's behalf.”

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