Couples in crisis during lockdown urged to spend time apart

A relationships counsellor has urged couples struggling with lockdown to spend time apart in order to avoid living in a ‘pressure cooker.
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Peter Saddington, who works with the charity Relate, said there is now a greater need for people to get support from somebody ‘objective’.

He said there are a number of reasons why people have been getting in touch with counsellors at the charity - such as financial troubles and no longer having a structure.

Couples whose relationships are under pressure during lockdown have been urged to spend time apartCouples whose relationships are under pressure during lockdown have been urged to spend time apart
Couples whose relationships are under pressure during lockdown have been urged to spend time apart
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Speaking about the higher volume of calls, Mr Saddington said: “There's more need for people to get support during this time and they are reaching out to try and get support where they can - that's obviously something Relate is used to.

“There are several different things and the first one is lockdown itself - whole families being in the same position where they are in the house all together without a structure and without people being able to go in or out, and sometimes that can feel like a pressure cooker.

“One of the ways people manage their emotions is creating distance - not wanting to be close together, needing time apart and having to learn to do things differently.”

Mr Saddington continued: “There are pressures with financial worries - 'have I got a job at the end of this?', 'how are we going to manage on the money we've got?'... so there's added tension for financial reasons.

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“Think of the ways you can have some time apart - almost schedule times when you're going to have time just for you as opposed to always being together.

“Make sure you really do make use of exercise time, do go out, do give yourself the chance to let off some steam.

“Try to have some structure - you'll probably find having structure makes you feel more settled and have an understanding of what to look forward to.”

Mr Saddington did say there were some positives that could come from the coronavirus lockdown.

He said: “There are benefits too though for some people actually having time together, seeing part of the family and enjoying that time is proving very beneficial.”

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