'Loved ones of the deceased feel robbed' due to tombstone delays - reader's letter

Deliveries, much needed medical treatment, the list goes on. One thing we don’t hear much of, however, are the delays in installing tombstones for those who have died since the pandemic began, whether or not the cause of death was Covid-related.

I speak from experience. My mother died, after suffering from Alzheimer’s for some years, in the summer of 2020 and her tombstone still isn’t up.

It had long since been ordered but apparently the stonemasons are way behind. Demand increased considerably when so many people lost their lives to Covid and even when the number of deaths level off, there’s still the matter of playing catch-up.

Of course, even in normal circumstances, it is often a few months after an individual’s death before the tombstone is put in place, because the earth takes a while to settle.

However prior to the pandemic, 15 months after the death was unheard of. Loved ones of the deceased feel robbed of the opportunity to benefit from the comfort of seeing their relatives lives being properly celebrated, on the form of a stone with their names on it. Evidence that they will never be forgotten.

Nothing looks sadder and less complete than an unmarked grave. My parents’ grave can only be identified by the flowers and ornaments on it.

With no tombstone in place (after my mother’s death, my father’s tombstone was taken away, in order to include my mother’s details) there is no attached vase, in order to accommodate the flowers, so they have to be placed on top of the mound, where they often blow away.

Not that I am blaming the stonemasons in the least. Like everyone else, they are working under considerable pressure. What I am perturbed about is the whole situation, the whole climate of chaos that enabled this to happen.

There’s not really a lot anyone can do but to do their level best, however little impact this seems to be having, and apportioning blame isn’t appropriate, but it is still very sad that the deceased have to be the casualties of Covid as much as the living.

I will be taking flowers to my parents’ grave again tomorrow. I won’t be expecting to see the much anticipated and awaited tombstone in place. I have been disappointed all too often, but one day, maybe one day, it will finally appear. Here’s hoping.

Cathy Langan

Sheffield, S8