“Just because you lot didn’t think of it first!”

Being 72 and with an underlying health problem, I have, with the support of my daughter, regretfully put an end, for a while anyway, to visits from my granddaughters, aged six and nearly two respectively.

Never mind. Like Blackadder’s hapless servant Baldrick, I have a cunning plan. Or, if you’re Roald Dahl’s enormous crocodile, secret plans and clever tricks. Yes, I am installing Skype at my home and my daughter’s.

Yesterday, I suggested to two different agencies of the NHS that they go and do likewise for consultations about the coronavirus. Not perfect, the doctor can’t stick a spatula down one’s throat, but a lot better than nothing, and certainly better than patient-to-doctor infection in the consulting room or patient-to-patient infection in the waiting room.

What did I get? Utter blankness and lack of response. Can’t be done. Has to come from the top (to which the answer is “then kindly pass the message up the line”.) Blah about patient confidentiality (why?), and general impossibility with current systems.

Come on NHS! You can do better than that. I’m tempted to retort “Just because you lot didn’t think of it first!”

However, I will refrain from so doing, as I can’t drive that one home. (Very clever Ciceronian rhetorical device whereby you say something by saying that you’re not going to say it.)