Shaun Says: Can we PLEASE just hang on a minute!
Noddy hasn’t said it yet, my tree is up… in the loft because it’s NOT CHRISTMAS YET!
Three more sleeps and you can all go as wild as you want with the tinsel, the glitter, the Rudolph antlers, Santa hats, Grinch masks, and all the frantic rushing around to get the best turkey, all the presents, the Taste the Difference stuffing balls, the booze, don’t forget the two bottle rule on Baileys Irish Cream, one for advent, the second for Christmas Day.
Hundreds of angry men up and down the country will be shouting about protecting our ‘Christian Country’ whilst ignoring the fact that the holiday represents the birth of a Palestinian refugee being hunted by the Romans, a polytheistic empire, and would our brave patriots have taken Mary and Joseph in, and the new born baby Jesus?
No, they would have hoped that their small boat sank on the sea of Galilee.
Hypocritical Religion, I really hate it.
It gets earlier every year, the build up, the constant advertising, the competition, the keeping up with the Joneses, I could allow late November, but Christmas seems to begin before Halloween has finished, which by the way is another pagan festival hijacked by the church but let’s not digress.
What also gets earlier every year is the fake dog whistle outrage all over social media, “they” are trying to ban Christmas, “they” say it’s offensive, “they” want to make us all eat halal turkey, one question, who are “they”? I’m a lover of history and, well, FACTS, and the only time Christmas was “banned” it was banned by a “GOD FEARING ENGLISH PRIME MINISTER” yeah, Oliver Cromwell, the only man ever to ban Christmas, and we all know what a splendid chap he was, oh, a real wrong un.
Anyway, it’s only two more sleeps until December the first, for the love of Macauley Culkin and the burglars, in the name of Tiny Tim, Rudolph, the elves, and thefairy with a tree stuck where the sun don’t shine, can we PLEASE just hang on a minute.
Come Monday, I’ll be as giddy as a giddy thing in giddy town with a pocketful of giddy quids to spend, but until then, as Noddy might say “shhhhhhh, not yet”. Have a lovely festive season, enjoy the holiday, and remember, it’s not about what’s on the table, or under the tree, it’s about the people who you love, presence , not presents.