Grandparent carers face dilemma about children returning to school

I have friends struggling financially and also having to cope with children not managing being off routine and challenging them with difficult behaviour.

In my house, our seven-year-old has settled into his new routines comparatively well and, although home schooling is hard, we are coping.

The announcement schools are starting to open has raised one of the toughest dilemmas for many of us.

Like many grandparent carers, I have health conditions that make it imperative I don’t get this virus.

Many older carers are sheltering, or taking additional care to avoid infection, because we don’t fancy our chances if we contract the virus, so the thought of a child coming home after contact with hundreds of others each day is terrifying.

More than anything, we know our children don’t have anyone else, which is why they are living with us, so staying alive and not abandoning our children before they are independent is a prime goal of grandparent carers.

But school is a massive part of most children’s lives and also provides respite for older carers who may not have the physical energy and stamina to support and entertain their children every hour of the day for months.

Our children are under stress during lockdown and, whether being away from school feels like a relief from academic and social struggle or a loss of community and friendship, they still have to deal with being off routine and the loss of familiar places and people.

Although my seven-year-old is doing okay, there are signs of him fraying at the edges - sudden tears, the odd bout of unusually uncooperative behaviour, sleep problems and some slightly obsessive behaviour.

The impact on their mental health may not be evident yet, but our children are under siege mentally and there will be more serious consequences for some.

The reopening of schools would be welcome for these reasons and signal a return to some sort of normality and a reduction in stress for grandparent carers, but for those of us with health issues that put us at additional risk from Covid-19, a return to school can feel like a death knell. This keeps me and many others awake at night, wondering what is best for our family.

And there are no easy answers.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Janet Kay is involved with Grandparents Plus, a support group for kinship carers.​​​​​​​