No butts, Stacey

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There is hushed talk in celebrity-land of the curse of Hello!

Of rich braggarts opening up the doors of their glitzy, all-white homes and flaunting their ‘perfect’ lives under the noses of envious (and clearly masochistic) ordinary readers.

Only for everything to go lipo-suctioned belly-up as soon as the mag hits the stands, The devoted husband is found in a brothel; the kids are exposed as crack addicts, that kind of thing.

Now, it seems there’s another harbinger of doom for the famous out to earn a few extra bob; the curse of Iceland.

Sign up to smile your way through an ad for the purveyors of cheap frozen food for the masses at your peril.

I’m not wrong; Kerry Katona was supposedly the perfect face of ordinary, working class motherhood (despite being bi-polar) until revelations of this particular mum heading off to shop elsewhere for something even more addictive than prawn party rings and bags of savoury mince and onion. According to the News of the World, she was taking Class A drugs.

Iceland’s frostbitten fingers twitched back to life when a sweet yet wholesome alternative appeared on the scene... Stacey Solomon, the X-Factor runner-up you couldn’t help but love. And she was a mum too.

Though just a few cherry cheesecakes in and crumbs, Stacey is the one falling apart on Philip Schofield’s sofa. She has been caught smoking while seven months pregnant.

Now I’ll stop making light because this is no laughing matter. It’s just foul. And stupid. And selfish to force a child in the womb to inhale cigarette smoke. Let’s be clear; you want it, they don’t.

The only people sticking up for her are the idiots saying “well, my mum smoked all the way through my pregnancy and I’m fine.” Oh really? Is it your eyesight or your reading ability that is preventing you from seeing the catalogue of proof that the poisonous fumes from cigarettes damage the health of children - in the womb and out?

Did Stacey’s mother smoke through pregnancy, I wonder? Because she seems to have a blind spot for numeracy. She has “cut down 100 per cent”; she’s down to two or three a day, she says. Right...

The 22-year-old is repentant, I’ll give her that; she sobbed as she spoke of how hard it has been for her to give up totally. And she’s taking the criticism - and the loss of her Mum of the Year 2011 title - with grace: “I don’t condone my smoking in any way and I think it’s important that people know that,” she says. “I don’t want people to think it’s OK or that I think it’s OK.”

But come on; what else could she do? She was caught bang to rights, puffing away. And just a year ago, she was adding her voice to Save The Children’s campaign for more midwives to improve the healthcare of pregnant women. Afterwards she probably nipped outside for a fag.

“Nothing that I can say makes it right,” she says.

No, but stubbing out those last few cigs would make it a little bit more right for your baby, Stacey.