LIFE’S A BITCH: The jackpot crackpots

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HOW many of us groaned when we heard that the £161 EuroMillions jackpot was scooped by ONE person?


13 weeks of rollovers sent us all rushing to the corner shop on Tuesday to buy our tickets as dreams of multi-million-pound mansions and Aston Martins danced in our heads.

I’ve never bought a lottery ticket in my life but even I stopped to pick up a handful on my way home. What is it about enormous jackpots that brings out the gambler in us?

Of course, though I don’t suppose I ever really expected to win, it never occurred to me that one winner would scoop the jackpot-lot!

It’s absolutely staggering to think of somebody - living their normal life, doing their normal job, driving their normal car - being suddenly catapulted into the UK Top 500 Rich List. Joe Bloggs from down the street is about to acquire the wealth it took the Beckhams 15 years to accrue - in the blink of an eye. Imagine that!

But then that’s why we play the lottery isn’t it? In the hope that, maybe, someday, it happens to us.

After my boyfriend and I screwed up our tickets and got over our initial disappointment, we tried to imagine what we would have done had we actually won. Would we have laid awake all night, mentally spending our fortune and waiting for morning to come so we could call and quit our jobs?

Maybe we wouldn’t have been able to trust what our eyes were telling us and spent a sleepless night waiting to confirm it with Camelot at 9am? Would we have driven straight to our parents houses to tell them the news and crack open the bubbly? Began organising a great big party?

Or maybe, just maybe, would we have quietly deposited the cash into our accounts and just got on with our lives, albeit it more financially secure?

They say that money doesn’t buy happiness but I think for that kind of cash I wouldn’t mind being the one to try and prove that theory wrong. After all, we’re talking about a fortune that if you withdrew it from your bank in £50 notes and stacked it, would be four times the height of Big Ben! Damn that £300 a day withdrawal limit.

It’s enough money to buy six executive jets, secure a penthouse overlooking London’s Hyde Park or purchase the services of Cristiano Ronaldo for your own family five-a-side.

The reality is that we don’t know what we’d do until it happens to us because, for most of us, it’s money we simply couldn’t spend in a lifetime.

We’d have a go though, eh?