Have you spent your life on a diet?
Believe us, we’ve been there. Between us, we’ve clocked up nearly 100 years of depriving ourselves of the food we love.
Ever tried the cabbage diet? Or the wine and egg diet? Don’t bother, all you get is wind and drunk!
And they never work, a few pounds may fall off to start with but after a while, when the side effects get too much and you stop, you usually end up heavier than ever.
But, the really sad thing is, looking back at photos of ourselves at 17, 19, 25...we realise now that those young ladies were, actually, absolutely gorgeous!
Remember Marilyn Monroe - the sexiest woman in history? She had a round, soft tummy, the first hint of bingo wings, stretch marks and softly sagging boobs...and was a size 16.
But as women we don’t see that, we’re not encouraged to look at all the things we are, instead we focus on all the things we aren’t and all the things we think we should be.
How many of us, if we could turn back time and do whatever we wanted, would want to help that young girl to see her true beauty? To love herself for what she is and to get out there and enjoy life? I think we’d all want to tell her not to hide away for fear of what people might say.
So ladies how about we embrace the wobble? Discard our clothes, throw caution to the wind. Stand naked in front of the bedroom mirror, put the music on and dance. (This advice is for bedrooms only. If you choose to do this in public we would just like to stress that we take no responsibility.)
No more covering up our bingo wings, set them free - and so what if we’ve got more orange peel than a Jaffa Cake!
Let’s stop beating ourselves up about what we can or cannot eat. Don’t sit in the corner at a party with a carrot stick and a stick of celery when you really want that sausage roll that is crying out to be eaten. To hell with it!
The days have gone when women felt that they had to wear baggy clothes to cover up any bulges. Let’s remember, Marilyn Monroe wasn’t skinny with perky boobs. Men do actually like something to hold at night. Ladies - anyone can drive in a straight line, it takes an expert to handle the curves. The time to worry is when you get out of bed in the morning with pains in your chest and realise you are standing on your nipples. So embrace your body and set the wobble free!