Just shut it, laptop OK?

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COMPUTERS have a mind of their own – that’s what they say.

My own laptop certainly seems to suffer from PMS, occasionally hanging without warning or misplacing files like a forgetful pensioner.

It’s been on the receiving end of many a tongue-lashing and casually flips me off with its egg-timer in response.

I’d have been shocked as hell though if it had actually squared its monitor and given me an earful back!

Well now it seems we may soon be forced to bite our tongues for fear of ‘offending’ our dear computers after scientists began developing machines capable of natural and intelligent interaction. (This already puts them ahead of most of the men I know...)

The plan is to create artificial intelligence that can understand, speak and behave like a human.

It all sounds rather futuristic and scary to me.

You just know it’s only a matter of time before they cotton on to the fact that they’re smarter than us and plot to take over the world, Terminator-style!

I’m not sure I want my PC having an opinion to be honest. I’m already offended by my spell checker and irritated by ‘Google’ asking me ‘Did you mean....?’

If I’d meant that Google, I would have said that now, wouldn’t I.