JO DAVISON: I’ll take a raincheck thanks

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Urine from pregnant horses, snail slime, human placenta and snake venom...

Seemingly, there is nothing too vile or too bizarre women will not slap on their faces in the hope some miracle can be worked to turn back time.

The latest one to promise eternal youth in a jar - and which claims to have hooked Kylie Minogue, Angelina Jolie, Demi Moore - is far simpler, though.

Ridiculously simple, actually.

The secret ingredient in Luxtura, which sells for up to $200 a tube, is, wait for it, rain-water.

This is no ordinary rainwater, though.

It is far better than the stuff your great-granny used to collect in rain-butts to water the garden with.

It is from the Pacific, collected at a location carefully chosen for its exceptionally clean air and its ocean winds.

Oh, and it’s been thrice-filtered.

What do you mean, you STILL don’t feel like splashing the best part of a week’s wages on a few drops of rain?

You’ll never look like Kylie then, will you?