This week I read a great blog titled “Looking forward to, not wishing away”.
In it, the author talks about how as parents we are told all the time to “cherish every moment” and “make the most of it” that soon they will be grown up and we’ll miss the days when our little ones needed us so much.
She mentions the fact that these words of positive intent are usually during a screaming fit or mid clean-up of some sort of nappy/milk/bogey explosion and are of course meant in the kindest sense.
But do we, as parents, have to love every single minute?
I’m only five months in so haven’t yet begun to experience the tantrums and tempers that toddler-hood brings but already there have been periods and phases that I have wished would hurry along a little quicker.
Yes, I’m never going to experience the first six weeks of Poppy’s little life again.
But does that mean I should have enjoyed the mind-numbing tiredness, broken sleep and baby blues that those early weeks brought?
The nights with my hormones still all over the place while I sat sobbing over my tiny baby that would feed for hours on end whilst I desperately needed a wee and my cup of tea sat just out of arms reach.
Poppy is teething at the moment and it would be a total lie and absurd to say I am cherishing every minute while she’s crying in pain and there’s little I can do to help her.
I’m pretty sure when all 20 of Poppy’s little teeth have emerged (which I have heard can take a while), I’ll be pretty relieved.
I’m an impatient person.
So as well as trying to hurry through the most difficult bits I can’t wait for all the little milestones.
I couldn’t wait for her first smile or for her to roll over and now I’m willing her to start crawling (which I’m sure I’ll probably regret saying when she’s stuffing cheese into the DVD player.)
At every point I’ve thought, this bit is the best.
I don’t want her to change or to grow up so how crazy is it that I should feel like that all the time?
And whilst I’m watching her grow and change it does make me a little sad that soon she’ll be replacing some milk with solids. Part of me does want to freeze frame how she is right now.
Could I be more conflicted?
The blogger I mentioned makes a good point, not enjoying every second of our children growing up is not the same as wishing it away.
It’s like saying a singer is wishing their career away because they get backstage nerves.
I suppose its like anything in life, you’ve got to have some bad times to truly realise when things are good.
I’d love to hear about times you wished might hurry along a little quicker or what you favourite milestones have been.
Contact me via my email address: firstname.lastname@example.org or my Twitter account @CescaNaylor.
Read Francesca’s previous blog - click the links below
July 18: The day my life changed forever.
July 25: Its scary but awesome being a mum.
July 31: It’s not easy being a mum.
August 7: Life is on hold but that’s alright.
August 14: Guilty secret.