FAIR POINT: Ewings back at the ranch

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Dallas is back - and it’s not a dream.

The telly series that defined our lives, our hairdos and our wardrobes back in the Eighties returns next month.

But will it - can it - be the same? That blend of cheese and glamour; the Cliff Barnes-hangers... Surely it’s too heady a mix to replicate?

It’s said episode one opens with ‘a slew of secrets, sibling rivalry and scheming’; so it sounds like not a lot’s changed. John-Ross and cousin Christopher (remember Pam and Bobby’s incredibly ugly little lad?) are bitter rivals, just like their dads were - because Chris has gone green and wants to quit oil for sustainable energy.

The future of the Ewing dynasty and SouthFork itself, hang in the balance. Miss Ellie being long gone, Bobby is home on the ranch but the ever-scheming JR makes his return... from a rest home where he’s been treated for clinical depression.

Sounds good so far. And reassuringly, the real Bobby, JR and Swellin will be in it. Linda Gray, now 71, looks terrific - way younger than Larry Haggard-man, now 80, and Patrick Duffy, 63 and grey and fading as a snapshot.

In her is writ the destiny of all women who preserve their looks; too old for a toyboy, too young for men your own age.