Courageous Sheffield coercive control survivor speaks out as former partner is jailed over campaign of abuse

If someone told you that by the end of your relationship with your new partner you will be living out of a bin bag, alienated from those closest to you, and you will have endured years of physical and mental abuse - you would simply end things there and then.
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But that is not how life works, and that, unfortunately, is not how coercive control works either.

The relationship itself can start like any other, with a fun flirtation and sparks of electricity that result in you entering into a pairing that initially feels romantic and relatively normal.

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But with a partner who is coercive and controlling, that normality will be gradually distorted and undermined to the point that you no longer feel capable of judging how you should be treated, or what you deserve from a relationship.

Scott Shooter was jailed for 18 months for using controlling and coercive behaviour on Jess, who has now spoken outScott Shooter was jailed for 18 months for using controlling and coercive behaviour on Jess, who has now spoken out
Scott Shooter was jailed for 18 months for using controlling and coercive behaviour on Jess, who has now spoken out

Jess has been given her voice back since her former partner was jailed

Sheffield woman Jess* is now more than three years down the line from the beginning of her relationship with Scott Shooter, who was jailed for 18 months earlier this month for using coercive and controlling behaviour on her.

Not only was Jess subjected to a campaign of deeply distressing abuse over a period of 32 months, but she was also silenced, sometimes physically.

Since Shooter was jailed, Jess has been given her voice back.

Shooter was jailed during a hearing held at Sheffield Crown Court on March 1, 2022Shooter was jailed during a hearing held at Sheffield Crown Court on March 1, 2022
Shooter was jailed during a hearing held at Sheffield Crown Court on March 1, 2022
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And now, she wants to use that voice to share, in her own words, what happened to her; the insidious nature of coercive control and the serendipitous encounter that gave her the strength to finally put an end to their relationship – following 13 failed attempts.

Nothing good can come out of this experience unless I help someone else”

Jess hopes that by describing her experiences she will help to 'change something' and create awareness of the forms that coercive control can take.

“Nothing good can come out of this experience unless I help someone else,” said Jess, who was 17 when her relationship with Shooter started.

Shooter physically and mentally abused Jess over a period of 32 months. Picture posed by modelsShooter physically and mentally abused Jess over a period of 32 months. Picture posed by models
Shooter physically and mentally abused Jess over a period of 32 months. Picture posed by models

She added: "If someone reads this article that’s going through what I’m going through, I want it to give them the courage to be like: ‘Yeah, I’m going to do something about it’.”

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“Everyone kept saying, when you go to court you will get a voice, but I didn’t, this is my voice, this is my chance,” said Jess, referring to the fact Shooter’s barrister was able to advance his mental health problems and personal circumstances in mitigation, but she feels as though she was not given the same opportunity because a victim statement is more limited.

She added: “It’s not like one day your partner wakes up and decides to control every aspect of your life. If it was like that, situations like mine wouldn’t have progressed so far. It starts off gradually, like the little things. Scott didn’t stop me from going out and seeing my friends straight away, but when I would go out, I’d be bombarded with messages, asking who I was with, where I was going, what time I’d be back.”

Shooter, now aged 24, and Jess’ romance started like many others in Sheffield. They met through mutual friends while spending time on Devonshire Green towards the end of the summer in 2018, and soon struck up an online communication.

‘Love bombing’

By the September of that year, they were in an exclusive relationship; and Shooter began ‘love bombing’ Jess with an incessant stream of affectionate text messages and calls almost immediately, as she explains: “When I say love bombing – it’s constant, it’s 24/7. They don’t get angry at you. You’re in that honeymoon stage, but it’s to an extreme. They make you feel like they’re all about you, like they’d never do anything to hurt you. They love you, they love you more than anyone else, they love you in a different way to anyone else.”

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Before long, Shooter had ‘pretty much moved in’ to Jess’ house, where she lived with her mum, Gemma*.

Commenting on her first impressions of Shooter and Jess as a couple, Gemma said: “At first, they seemed happy. He had everyone fooled. He couldn’t do enough for me. At the time I was working full-time, and we had just got a puppy and he was like: ‘Oh I’ll stay and help’. There was that trust.”

The first three months of their relationship

Jess described how by the end of their first three months together, the violence from Shooter had begun.

During the same period, Jess says Shooter had also started accusing her of cheating on him, something that continued throughout their relationship; he had stopped her from going out to celebrate her 18th birthday, and had threatened to kill her dog.

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The following month, Shooter and Jess moved away from Gemma and into a new property – by which point Gemma says she felt as though she had already ‘lost’ her daughter.

Gemma has likened the seemingly unbreakable bond between Shooter and Jess to that of a ‘heroin addict,’ and for years she feared she would never be able to get Jess away from him, and to safety.

Jess says it is when they started living together that things really began to go ‘downhill’.

During the months and years that followed, Shooter embarked upon a campaign of physical abuse that would see him bite Jess’ cheek in front of friends on a night out; beat her with a sweeping brush; threaten her with a blowtorch; drag her down a flight of stairs by her ankle; put his hands in her mouth to stop her from talking and screaming; and smother her with a pillow.

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Shockingly, Jess says Shooter inflicted violence upon her despite being made aware from ‘day one’ that she has a blood disorder called Von Willebrand disease that means her blood does not clot properly, leaving her terrified she would die after Shooter struck her.

The use of humiliating abuse

Humiliation also played a key part in Shooter’s treatment of Jess, she says. On one occasion, he drenched her with ‘freezing cold’ milk, and subsequently told her to strip naked and clean the milk up from the floor using her clothes, a request she felt she had no choice but to comply with.

He would also tell her to wear his boxer shorts when she would go out without him because he believed it would prevent her from ‘having sex with other boys’.

Gemma describes watching her daughter go from someone who was always ‘immaculately dressed’ to looking ‘homeless,’ while dressed in Shooter’s clothes.

Being watched while in lessons

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When their relationship began, Jess was doing her A-Levels at a Sheffield sixth form, and was university-bound.

She describes how Shooter would turn up to her sixth form, and would wait outside and watch her through the window for the entirety of her double English lesson – ‘because I sat next to a boy’.

“He could see into my classroom, and he'd stand there from half-one until five-to-three, when we'd finish, just watching me for the whole of his double English lesson because I sat next to a boy. But then I'd come out and he'd have a bunch of flowers...I saw the flowers, I didn’t see the intent behind it. I thought: ‘ooh, flowers’ and I kind of get to show off in front of all my friends at school. I’ve got this cool, older boyfriend who comes and meets me outside with flowers and takes me places.”

Jess says Shooter began encouraging her not to go to sixth form, and by May 2019, there had been so many occasions in which she had felt unable to attend due to being ‘covered in bruises’ that she was ‘kicked out’.

The deterioration of Jess’ personal relationships

It was not just Jess’ academic life that had been dismantled. Her relationships with her family and friends became incredibly strained, partially because of the concerns her loved ones had for her safety and the lies she felt she needed to tell to continue her relationship with Shooter; but also because of the seeds of doubt he planted by questioning how much they cared for, and liked, her.

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Things deteriorated so much that Jess was left feeling as though she ‘had no-one’.

Jess was so enthralled to Shooter that she was unable to leave him for good, until she unexpectedly ran into her aunt in the street in Manchester in May last year.

At that point, Jess’ family believed the couple were no longer together because of lies she had told them, and Jess was under the impression her aunt was away in Turkey.

Jess’ aunt separated the pair, sending Shooter packing back to Sheffield, took Jess back to her house and confiscated her phone.

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She encouraged Jess to go to the police, supported her while she spent 20 hours detailing her abuse to officers and kept her in Manchester for the next two months to give her the ‘strength’ and ‘courage’ to be in the same city as Shooter and ‘not go back to him’.

“There was someone looking after Jess that day,” said Gemma.

While staying in Manchester, Jess was ‘living out of a black bag’ of clothes a friend had brought her because Shooter had confiscated most of her belongings.

Facing Shooter in court

Shooter, of Lowedges Road, Lowedges was charged with, and pleaded guilty to, using cocercive and controlling behaviour.

Valiant Jess, who has been left with post-traumatic stress disorder, faced Shooter in court on March 1 this year, to read a statement detailing how his abuse had affected her, and to watch as he was jailed.

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Describing how it felt to face and stand up to Shooter, Jess said it was ‘empowering’.

“That day, whether or not he looked at me, he heard exactly what I had to say," she said.

“It was empowering after being in a relationship where if you speak out, if you try to stand up for yourself, you just make things worse,” Jess added.

“Even when he did something wrong, I never got to say what I wanted to say, if I did…he would literally put his fingers in my mouth.

“I walked in, I didn’t cry, I didn’t stutter. I’m not allowing him to see me be hurt again.”

Jess’ message to victims of coercive control

Jess also has a message for anyone who may themselves be the victim of coercive control. She said: “Every time that he promises he’s not going to do it again, whether that be physical or mental, it’s a lie. That first time is one time too many. You are worth so much more than what they tell you.

“Someone can degrade and belittle you to unimaginable lengths but always know inside that you are worth so much more than that and that’s what you need to remember. And they’re not going to stop. These people don’t stop, you have to stop them. The only way you can do that is by speaking out and you shouldn’t be afraid of what people are going to say or whether people are going to believe you because the police are here, and IDAS are here.”

Shooter was also made the subject of a 10-year restraining order, which prohibits him from contacting Jess during that period.

Jess now has a bright future ahead of her, and is looking forward to starting university this September.

Help and support is available for victims and survivors of domestic abuse in Sheffield. Call IDAS on 0808 808 2241.

*Not their real names