Cowell has a dark side

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I know; I know; I’m ranting about Simon Cowell again and I apologise.

But honestly, black toilet paper?

Apparently, in the bathrooms at his homes in LA and London he insists on only £10 a roll quilted triple-ply - in black.

Why, though?

It may look the business in his sleek and glossy black bathrooms and have guests marvelling at the extent to which Si Co will go to in the pursuit of perfectionism.

But what useful purpose can black possibly serve?

I mean, we all know what loo paper is for. And that, during the procedure, said toilet tissue is a clear indicator, a little update, on how things are going in the cleanliness department (I can’t think of a more delicate way to put that).

When it comes to the bottom line, surely black is madly impractical?