Column: The stages I took to becoming a stay-at-home mum...
Somehow, almost overnight, I went from being a driven career girl in the city, to a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth nappying, stay-at-home mum. Gulp.
My transition came in a set of stages:
1) Ignorance: What is it that stay-at-home-mums actually do?! I mean, besides getting their nails and hair done. I’ll never have kids until I’m at the top of the career ladder. Being a housewife is just for ladies of leisure.
2) Baby Bump: Okay, I’ve gotten up the duff by accident. So I won’t be moving to London to work for the big media outlets. I best not tell my employers I’m preggers. I’ll just wear a slimming belt and crack on.
3) Vanity: Do you think I can do this pregnancy thing without stretch marks and getting fat? Gym, eat an extra apple a day and plenty of water. Sorted.
4) Reality: I feel sick. All I want to do is eat stodge. I can’t stretch to lather myself in bio-oil let alone apply fake tan. And as for the gym, I can just about waddle there and throw a few shapes in Zumba then I. am. done.
5) Labour: Giving birth will be a piece of cake. I’ve no time for hypno-birthing so I’ll just throw some relaxing songs on to a CD and hope for the best. I’m going to have a totally ‘natural’ birth: no drugs, no intervention and a water pool.
6. Aaaand push: Welcome to a long and extremely painful labour. Plus a few work phone calls. Give me the drugs!
7) Becoming parents: Gush! Our world has changed. Life has a whole new purpose for us. We never realised how much happiness this little smiling/ crying/ pooing person could bring us. Cue a billion selfies (no pouting - just smiling).
8) Attachment parenting: I’ve somehow fallen into this co-sleeping, cloth nappying, breast feeding, baby-led weaning mode da vie. Pre-baby I said I would only MAYBE breastfeed, in a secluded place, and now I find myself getting my boobs out and about whenever wherever. What’s happened to me?!
9) Second baby: Yup, I can do this. I’m now tandem feeding my two little sprogs. Goodbye Victoria’s Secret and hello big comfy bras.
10) Stay-At-Home-Mum admission: Well I’m never going to be Prime Minster anyway. I tried this career mum thing with my first child but I was spending too many of my little girl’s first precious moments on the M62. I won’t make that mistake again. My ambition and drive have not disappeared, they’ve just changed. Being content is my happy place and being a mum is where I’m needed right now.
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