Loneliness: The Sheffield lunch club with an appetite for bringing people together

No-one should be alone. Of course they shouldn’t be, but they are and that was made crystal clear by the pandemic. Which is why people like Kathy Marwick make a difference.
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She is a driving force behind Friendship Lunches, which cater for Sheffield, Rotherham and Barnsley, connecting people who are in danger of being left alone and falling victim to the isolation which has ruined too many lives.

There are events in Crookes, Crosspool, Beighton, Bents Green, Manor Park, Kimberworth, Chapeltown and Grenoside. Eight lunches a month feed and entertain for thousands of people – a testament to how good they are and how well they work.

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"Loneliness is not precluded just to the elderly – people can find themselves lonely and socially isolated for a myriad reasons,” says Kathy, whose job title is community consultant.

back l-r Kathy Markwick, Independent Community Services Consultant, Emma Kennedy, care supervisor, Dawn Cowan, attendee and Russ Elliott, entertainer. Front l-r Len Hopkins, Janice Jones and Jane Jackson, attendees. Picture: Marie Caley NSST-19-06-19-MemoriesOfFriends-1back l-r Kathy Markwick, Independent Community Services Consultant, Emma Kennedy, care supervisor, Dawn Cowan, attendee and Russ Elliott, entertainer. Front l-r Len Hopkins, Janice Jones and Jane Jackson, attendees. Picture: Marie Caley NSST-19-06-19-MemoriesOfFriends-1
back l-r Kathy Markwick, Independent Community Services Consultant, Emma Kennedy, care supervisor, Dawn Cowan, attendee and Russ Elliott, entertainer. Front l-r Len Hopkins, Janice Jones and Jane Jackson, attendees. Picture: Marie Caley NSST-19-06-19-MemoriesOfFriends-1

“When we start a new event or people come along for the very first time, they can be nervous and apprehensive, like everyone in a new situation. However, they soon start chatting to other people and when the music starts, it is literally like musical medicine - and people just relax and enjoy.”

A typical Friendship Lunch includes half an hour of live music, a two course lunch and more live music. The cost is normally around £10 thanks to sponsors.

"I have been approached by lots of people across South Yorkshire and even further afield about setting up similar events,” says Kathy.

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"I know that many people and businesses have replicated the Friendship Lunches when they have seen how enjoyable they are, how successful they are and indeed how vital they are for the local community.”

Penistone and Stocksbridge MP Miriam Cates at a lunch in GrenosidePenistone and Stocksbridge MP Miriam Cates at a lunch in Grenoside
Penistone and Stocksbridge MP Miriam Cates at a lunch in Grenoside

The entertainer at each event is key, encouraging the diners to join in, whether that’s singing, dancing or just tapping their feet. Whatever it is, it works. Just ask Dr Lisa Philip, GP partner at Chapelgreen Practice.

"Friendship Lunches address social isolation that is so prevalent in our communities, and has been exacerbated by covid,” she says. “They provide an opportunity to get out and meet new or old friends while enjoying a good meal and great live entertainment. They also provide a great opportunity to share health and safety messages.

“I admire Kathy so much for seeing a need and organising these events. She is working tirelessly to make a difference in our community, and to improve wellbeing. May her great work continue with the support of other community groups and our primary care networks. This collaboration helps to reach a wider group and helps ensure sustainability."

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The parents of the late Jo Cox MP Gordon and Jean Leadbeater are supporters of the lunches and the fan club extends to sponsors Age UK and community charity SOAR, who continue to back the events. Poster sponsor, the Sheffield Churches Council for Community Care says: “These events are vital for supporting our older communities keeping them connected in their neighbourhoods.”

Guests enjoy the fun at a Friendship LunchGuests enjoy the fun at a Friendship Lunch
Guests enjoy the fun at a Friendship Lunch

Kathryn Rawling, community liaison coordinator for Sheffcare, adds: “It is an absolute joy to link to Kathy and play a part in the Friendship Lunches by offering sponsorship.

"This simple yet very effective way of giving people a place to go with the knowledge that there will be a warm welcome, helps people avoid loneliness and a feeling of isolation. Kathy very effectively uses the lunches as a way of giving entertainment by using live music to encourage people to come along – music is a wonderful way to lift spirts.

"In addition Kathy often invites people to come along to provide useful information for example about fraud prevention. Kathy’s energy and enthusiasm is to her credit as she continues to develop this concept across the city.”

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Glowing tributes which are hard earned, yet Kathy is modest. “I know I tend to receive most of the recognition for the success of the Friendship Lunches, but I truly could not do these without the enthusiasm of the teams at the venues who host the events, the sponsors and the publicity we receive.”

The parents of the late Jo Cox MP Gordon and Jean Leadbeater are supporters of the lunchesThe parents of the late Jo Cox MP Gordon and Jean Leadbeater are supporters of the lunches
The parents of the late Jo Cox MP Gordon and Jean Leadbeater are supporters of the lunches

Nevertheless it is clear she knows what she’s doing. The 66-year-old, who lives in Deepcar, works her contacts - something she learned as a commercial officer with the HSBC bank for 34 years. During this time, she was asked to organise a Sportsman's Dinner with the Rotary Club.

"I think it is from this event that my passion for arranging events first started,” she says. “The event was a huge success and raised thousands of pounds for charities both at home and abroad.

"When I decided to leave the bank and go into the care sector seven years ago, I became aware of just how huge a problem loneliness and social isolation was.

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"As a Rotarian, I asked the three Rotary Clubs in Barnsley to sponsor a free Superjam Tea party at the Holiday Inn, Barnsley. This was a huge success with around 40 guests and over the last seven years, numbers have grown to 250, which is incredible.”

The parties led to her being invited to 10 Downing Street to meet then Prime Minister David Cameron. “It was while at the No 10 event, that I met someone who was being recognised for their work on combating and reducing loneliness and social isolation with Friendship Lunches, but with no live music.

"When I returned to Sheffield, I remember thinking I can do an event like that one but with live music. I was on a mission and went to the Toby Carvery in Dodworth and arranged the inaugural Friendship Lunch in South Yorkshire.

Friendship lunch organiser Kathy Marwick,Friendship lunch organiser Kathy Marwick,
Friendship lunch organiser Kathy Marwick,

"The event was a huge success and on the back of this I met the manager at the Crosspool Tavern, and Friendship Lunch number two was born.

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"This event gained fantastic publicity and we had special guests including the Lord Mayor of Sheffield. The Crosspool Tavern event continues to go from strength to strength and is ideal for all ages. The team there undoubtedly pull out all the stops to ensure that our guests have a wonderful and memorable afternoon.”

Rewarding work which Kathy loves. “I have been blown away by the success of the Friendship Lunches and have some fantastic stories.”

One was Len Hopkins who acknowledged the lunches changed his life. He came into the inaugural event at the Crosspool Tavern with his sister six years ago and Kathy asked him if he had come for the Friendship Lunch. He said no, that he was just there for a meal with his sister.

“I invited them to join us which they did and from then on Len came to nearly every event that I arranged,” says Kathy.

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“He often said to me that he will never forget the time I asked him to join us at the Crosspool Tavern Friendship Lunch and that we had literally changed his life. At one of the Friendship Lunches, my friend asked Len to dance and afterwards he told me that it had made his day as he had not danced for 20 years since his wife died.”

When the pandemic hit, Kathy had to get creative. She took the event online and it worked. Len, who sadly died a year ago from pancreatic cancer, told her: “The Facebook Live shows have been a lifeline. They give me a lot of pleasure and really do help with the feeling of loneliness, as they remind me of the love and happiness that is still all around. Thank you to Kathy, and the Friendship Lunches, for all the fun of the past.”

He’s not been forgotten. "It is heartwarming to know that we undoubtedly enhanced the last few years of his life,” says Kathy.

Everyone who gets involved seems to enjoy it. Singer Oliver Harris said: “I love being involved in these events because I’ve grown up loving this ‘older’ - I’d call it timeless - music and to be able to share it with people who it means so much to is a joy greater than anything.

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"I love seeing people's faces light up when a song takes them back to a time long ago or a happy memory.”

Kathy adds: “I am delighted with the success of the Friendship Lunches and the utmost pleasure they bring to so many people. They definitely give people something to look forward to, something to get dressed up for and a wonderful opportunity to meet old or make new friends, have a delicious meal, have a dance, to chat and to socialise.

"It is undoubtedly the live music which makes the huge difference – older people often used to go to dance clubs and these events give them the opportunity to reminisce. It is also a perfect opportunity to ‘put the dementia on one side’ and to enjoy two to three hours of food, fun and friendship.

“It is an absolute joy to see the effect they have on so many people – they are truly heartwarming.

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“We are looking for sponsorship and if anyone or any businesses would like to come on board, this starts from just £50, which goes towards the cost of the entertainment.

“With the pandemic and lockdowns, the huge problem of loneliness and social isolation has been exacerbated. I really believe that everyone will now truly understand how devastating this problem is as all ages have suffered during the last two years.”

For further information contact Kathy on 0772 9528844 or email [email protected]

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