'Farewell to our futuristic friends - Sheffield just wasn't quite ready for you...yet'
Technology has not progressed as fast as my childhood dreams...
Some love letters you never expect to write but my heart has been broken, slightly, after being dumped.
I never anticipated I would be swept off my feet and, fortunately, that never happened literally although the threat was real.
The little white lovebugs which roamed around our streets stuffed with curries and chips have abandoned us, disappeared just as quickly as they came without so much as a farewell.
You'll have seen in Saturday's Star that our Starship robotic helpers are no more. I, for one, am gutted.I used to think that by 2026 my shoes would lace up by magic and three course meals would be served via one piece of bubblegum.
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Technology has not progressed as fast as my childhood dreams. 'Progress' has headed in directions which none of us could have predicted.
These days, nobody is warning kids not to sit too close to the telly because it will make their eyes square. That battle was lost so badly that the shape of their eyeballs is actually being ruined by staring at mobiles held just inches away from their noses.
I was told by my maths teacher that we needed to be able to do sums in our heads because 'you won't always have a calculator in your back pocket'. Oh, how wrong he was. I'm not always a fan of technology so this feels strange to admit I was very sad that our little friends have disappeared from Sheffield streets.
They made me smile. The human interactions between our littlest children and their motor-powered boxes made them feel as if we were almost making friends.
I saw many a mum with a pram pull over on the pavement to let a robot pass, while her accompanying toddler waved and gave a cheery greeting. These were the friends none of us knew we needed.
They weren't programmed to give a cheery reply but that didn't stop them exuding character.
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One looked forlorn, turning in exasperation from side to side, at a pedestrian crossing on Chesterfield Road as I drove past. Had I not been in the car I would have pressed the button so the green man appeared to allow it to cross. Instead, I still wonder how long it waited there as traffic rumbled by - no hands to reach up and use the traffic lights to its advantage. Such a plight tucks at your heart strings.
I had great joy wondering if the steepness of Sheffield's great hills would slow them down but, unlike me, they had an extra gear to shoot up the sharp inclines of Kent Road in Meersbrook even after a long day at work. I am sure he was silently shouting for his friends to race him to the top.I was a bit unsure at first but I soon warmed to these little fellas, although perhaps I shouldn't take the risk of assigning them a gender.
I loved spotting them rumbling along and they cheered up any dog walk when they appeared on the horizon, politely swerving to avoid human beings and our four-legged friends.Now they have departed. It isn't difficult to imagine that they lined up and were beamed up into the sky like extras in an ET film.
Sadly, the truth is a lot less exciting.
Far from 'beam me up Scotty', Starship Technologies has withdrawn the robots from our city saying the pilot scheme had reached its natural conclusion.
The company launched its pilot here in March, with the small six-wheeled robots being used to deliver food through selected neighbourhoods for Uber Eats.
The cute blighters did not have an easy time. Several of the super fast boxes and their infrastructure were vandalised. Some were attacked with black spray paint, with the words ‘off our street’ daubed across the top. Others had their flags snapped, in what must only been seen as a backward move for humans as the whole purpose of the green triangles was to ensure we saw them.
Traffic cones were even placed behind robots in an apparent attempt to stop them moving. It is all very reminiscent of bullying the smallest person in class and I can not condone it!
However, the truth is, much as I might have enjoyed seeing the machines in action, I never ordered a takeaway via them. Although humans are often far more objectionable, I do believe we should protect people's jobs over robots.
The streets of Heeley and Meersbrook are now more dull and we await the next crazy futuristic invention. Perhaps I will soon be able to sign off by quoting my favourite childhood movie Back to the Future: "Roads, where we're going, we don't need roads."
The way Sheffield council is messing up the city centre, I'm sure we would all welcome that.