New year, new start: how to have a dignified divorce
Divorce solicitors across the city are bracing themselves for the annual rush of new work, following the festive season.
A number of factors contribute to this surge in separations, namely the emotional and financial pressures of Christmas, the extended period of togetherness and the fact many people make new year’s resolutions to reboot their lives.
The long-term impact of Covid-19 on divorce statistics remains to be seen, but there was a flurry of new instructions following the first period of lockdown.
In some ways, the pressures felt by families were similar to Christmas: we were forced to spend extended periods of time together and many people lost jobs or were furloughed, adding extra strain.
If you are considering ending your relationship, it is important to do so in an informed manner. Here, Michaela Evans, a family law expert at Sheffield solicitors, Taylor&Emmet LLP, shares with us her top tips for a dignified divorce.
DO
Take a deep breath: Stay calm and take time to reflect on your situation.
Don’t make any snap decisions; instead, talk through your feelings with friends or family and maybe speak to your doctor if it’s causing you stress.
Look after yourself – you will need to be in good shape mentally and physically to deal with the months ahead.
Seek legal advice as soon as possible: Knowledge is power, even if you decide not to act upon the advice.
Make sure you know your rights and responsibilities, as well as the options available to you.
Always see an expert solicitor and make sure it is someone you like; check out Resolution’s list of accredited family law specialists in your area.
Make a list and get organised: Before seeing a solicitor, write down your questions so you can cover everything you wish to discuss.
Try to gather up your financial information before your first meeting; you will get the best value out of the appointment if you have an idea of your assets and debts.
Focus on your children: Put children at the centre of any decisions and you won’t go far wrong.
DON’T
Panic: You will be fine. The law is there to ensure that both parties’ needs are met and the overall settlement is fair. If you take the advice of your solicitor, you will come through it and be able to build a new future. Before making any decisions, though, think carefully about whether counselling might help you singly or as a couple.
Take revenge: Cutting up your partner’s clothes and throwing them out of the window may give you momentary satisfaction, but it sends out the wrong message about how you will deal with the separation, so grit your teeth and take the moral high ground.
Transfer money or try to hide it: It does not work and, once it becomes apparent what you’ve done, the courts will take a very dim view; they could even penalise you by way of a costs order.
Use children as weapons: When you are angry and frustrated, it may be tempting to refuse access to your children - but at the end of the day, it won’t just be your ex who suffers.
Taylor&Emmet LLP’s experienced matrimonial team can provide you with expert advice and a sympathetic ear on a range of issues – visit www.tayloremmet.co.uk/index.php/personal/family-matrimonial to find out more.