Local funeral homes share advice for those grieving this Mother’s Day

For most, Mother’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate and share their love for their mothers – but for those who have experienced the death of a motherly figure, including mums, step-mums and grandmothers, or are a bereaved mother themselves, it can often bring up feelings of grief and upset.
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Research from Co-op Funeralcare, which has funeral homes in Bridhouse, Wibsey and Bradford shows that 76 per cent of people in the West Midlands have experienced the death of a loved one in the last five years. Sadly 18 per cent have lost a parent and 1 per cent have lost a child.

Therefore, on a day that may be tough for many, the funeral provider is sharing advice and support to those who have suffered a bereavement – be it recently or in the past.

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1. Feel your feelings. It is okay to be sad and to miss people who are no longer around. Whether you’ve lost your mother or a motherly figure, you are allowed to grieve on Mother’s Day so give yourself permission to express emotion, either by yourself or with someone you love. Remember – there is no ‘correct’ way to mourn a death, so whether the emotions you’re feeling are angry, sad or nostalgic, know it’s ok to feel them.

Co-op Funeralcare Mother's DayCo-op Funeralcare Mother's Day
Co-op Funeralcare Mother's Day

2. Put yourself first – spend the day doing the things you enjoy, without feeling pressure to do anything you don’t want to.

3. Don’t try to fake it. You may want to put a brave face on for other loved ones – but you must give yourself permission to grieve. On those more difficult days like Mother’s Day, do what will make you feel better and remember there are people around you who care for you and want the best for you. Reach out to someone if you're feeling low: you’re never alone.

4. Put your feelings into words and talk to someone – Letter writing can help you deal with grief, and writing down those feelings to your mother figure that has died can help organise your thoughts. Talking can also help, and whilst it might not always be easy to talk to a family member or friend, you can contact the Cruse helpline.

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5. Take a trip down memory lane. Whilst you may be grieving a loved one, your memories of that person can always be cherished. Perhaps use old photos to bring back memories which may have been forgotten.

6. Keep your traditions alive – For some, coming up with a meaningful way to honour their loved one on a difficult day can help. Considering how your loved one would like to be remembered and carrying it out can create a special moment in the day – be it volunteering your time, baking their favourite cake, or even going to their favourite spot for a walk in their honour.

Mike Pengelly, Head of Client Operations said: “Special days like Mother’s Day can bring about powerful emotions for those who have experienced the death of a loved one – no matter how much time may have passed.

“We want to offer support to the local community that may be grieving this Mother’s Day: It’s important for our community to know that we’re not just here for you whilst planning a funeral but offer continuous support during an otherwise difficult time.

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“We hope these tips can help a person navigate through their grief on what could be a potentially difficult day. However, first and foremost, if you do need more support, please visit Co-op Funeralcare and Cruse Bereavement Support’s joint resource page or pop into your local Co-op Funeral home to speak to one of our team.”

For those looking for further support, Co-op Funeralcare is working in partnership with Cruse, helping to bring communities together to help one another when navigating through grief.

Andy Langford, Clinical Director at Cruse Bereavement Support said: “Mothering Sunday, and the days leading up to it, can be quite a difficult time for lots of people.

“If you are grieving you may need some time and space for yourself, if you know this is going to be a particularly triggering time. You might want to consider thinking about how you want to mark the day, or whether you want to do something completely different. It’s also important to get the support you need, from family and close friends. If you feel you need extra support on or in the lead up to Mother’s Day, then Cruse Bereavement Support and Co-op Funeralcare’s websites are a good place to start, as they have some wonderful resources to help.”

For more information please visit: Grief and bereavement - Co-operate (coop.co.uk)