"Men are brought up to take things on the chin and not express emotions - but that doesn’t work" - Sheffield support group speak out

The Sheffield labourer was suffering from what he calls ‘a range of problems’ when he heard about the group, which had been set up in Sheffield the same month.

“I walked out on a real high and went home to my partner and talked for two hours about how good it was,” he says.

“It was just great to come somewhere and realise I wasn’t alone.”

Now a ‘facilitator’, Matt helps organise the group alongside several other volunteers and group leader Andy Wilson.

They provide tea, coffee and biscuits at South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue every Monday night, but more importantly offer men a place where they can talk freely about their problems.

“The biggest step is walking through the door and then we take care of you,” says Andy, a retired South Yorkshire Police sergeant.

“You never know what to expect or what is going to come through that door.

“Any problem you can imagine bloke having, we get.”

These include, he says, relationship difficulties, drink problems, drug addiction, health issues and housing.

They get men from their teens all the way up to their 70s, and from a complete cross of society from chief executives to homeless people and everything in between.

“It is a chance to be honest and open with others but with yourself as well,” says Martin Frost, another volunteer.

“The typical Sheffield greeting is ‘are you alright’ and the response is usually ‘yeah, are you’?

“But this is a chance to go beyond that.”

“It is a safe space to talk which is confidential, non-judgemental where you can say anything you want,” agrees Andy.

“It seems so simplistic it is easy to be cynical about it, but when you sit here it is really empowering.”

Andy’s Man Club was set up in 2016 by Halifax man Luke Ambler whose brother-in-law took his own life after struggling with mental health problems.

The first meeting only attracted six men, but grew from there into a national organisation which currently has 26 groups across the country.

Former Leeds Rhinos player Luke is on record as saying he thinks if his brother-in-law had been able to attend something like Andy’s Man Club, he would still be here today.

Apart from three paid staff, the entire operation is run by volunteers or facilitators, many of whom are men who have been helped by the group and choose to stay on to help others.

One such man is facilitator Adrian Thompson, who says he ‘desperately needed’ the support of the group when he started attending in April last year.

“I was pouring all my concerns and worries into pints of beer,” he says.

“When I came down I didn’t think I could do it but I got through the door and it has been amazing.”

“We have all been in a position where we needed help and it is nice to be able to give a bit back,” adds Andy.

“Men are brought up to take things on the chin and not to express emotions - but that doesn’t work.

“We want to save that one man’s life.”

The Sheffield group started just over a year ago with seven men but now has a ‘core group’ of around 25 and last week 50 people came.

In all, 1,400 people have attended in just over 12 months, and they are now getting referrals from the NHS and finding themselves advertised in public places all over the city.

The adverts all feature an image of a hand in the internationally recognised ‘okay’ symbol, which founder Luke created back in 2016.

“It means it’s okay to talk,” says Andy.

Andy’s Man Club Sheffield meet every Monday except Bank Holidays from 7pm at SYFR headquarters on Eyre Street in Sheffield city centre.