Take Two

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GOOD old Sean Morley, quoted in today’s main piece.

He once turned to me from the stage and suggested, in front of 40 people, my tie looked ridiculous.

Perhaps I should return the favour here and suggest, in front of 40,000 readers, his ponytail does too. But that’s mean. And besides, it’s obvious I’m jealous that I’ve never had the cojones to grow one myself. Top guy. Recommended.

SO, when it comes to exercise, I’m with Henry Ford’s belief that it’s bunk – if you’re healthy you don’t need it, if you’re sick you shouldn’t take it.

Except there comes a point when you realise you better get off the sofa or you’re going to become one of those fatties on some Channel Four documentary called ‘I Ate My Brother’.

I, thus, occasionally swim.

It’s rubbish. But what’s more rubbish is that, thanks to Sheffield International Venues, I will now need to carry yet another piece of plastic to have this privilege at a fair price.

The company, which runs the city’s leisure centres, has introduced a lifeCARD, as revealed in yesterday’s Star. This, the spin says, will cut prices - although what it will actually do is keep them the same if you buy a card and bump them up if you don’t.

But I don’t want to sign up for yet another wallet-clogger. I don’t want to hand over my personal details to an anonymous body. And I don’t want a never-ending stream of unsolicited texts which will be the result.

I just want to turn up with my trunks, pay a set price, and swim. Why must that be made so complicated? Why must everything be filed to a database and made more difficult?

For a city trying to get more people thinking exercise isn’t bunk, it seems a strange way to go about things.