In the ideal world we’d all like to inhabit I’m moving in with Accrington Stanley, Bury and Hartlepool.
Together, they paid agent fees in the last year to the value of precisely £0.00. Some would say they were the only club to give agents what they deserve.
But in the real world, this column would be reasonably happy to support a team that lies eighth in a table of 24 teams and languishes 13th in the table of greasing palms for transfer deals.
Even then, £792,203 is hardly a trifling figure.
Some people dealing with Sheffield Wednesday were paid serious money for trading in the horse flesh of professional footballers in the year up to September 30th, 2015.
But it’s a necessary evil, of course, and the conclusion has to be that Dejphon Chansiri, new to this game and at times thoroughly frustrated by it, is on the right side of the equation at this stage of his reign.
Recognise, too, that he personally signs off every deal.
Nothing happens without his say-so.
You’d reckon he hovered over the abort button on more than a few occasions.
The firm impression is that he doesn’t like paying over the odds, even if he can afford to, and I’d calculate also that his investment on fees, comfortably under £10m apparently, is well below his financing capacity.
The bottom line is value for money in a market of rising costs for making that highly lucrative climb into the promised land of the Premier League.
On that yardstick, you’d have to conclude Chansiri has got most of his sums right so far.
Those agents’ fees, including deals before his official takeover, helped reel in 15 summer signings, albeit some on loan, up to (and excluding) Gary Hooper’s arrival on loan.
Of the 12 clubs who shelled out more, only five (Brighton, Burnley, Derby, Middlesbrough and Hull) are above Wednesday in the Championship.
Of the other seven below them, Cardiff splashed £2.8m and Fulham £2.7m.
Derby, who come to Hillsborough on Sunday, invested £1.1m.
Hate to say it, but that looks reasonable for a team shaping for automatic promotion.
As is Wednesday’s investment in being geared towards the play-offs.
Thank goodness, all the same, for those who upset the whole applecart, as Dave Bassett’s Wimbledon (and Sheffield United) once did.
What of those clubs currently paying diddly-squat?
Well, Bury are 10th in League One and Accrington, bless ‘em, fourth in League Two, while Hartlepool are fighting proudly to protect league status after last season’s great escape.
That’s real football and real football values.
I, for one, am glad that Sheffield Wednesday appear to be retaining at least some of that.
Because it’s only a short step from calculated risk to recklessness.
Ask Bolton Wanderers. Agents fees of £964,869 and bottom of the Championship, unable to pay the wages of the players those agents brought in.
Or Wigan Athletic, reduced to League One, who lashed out a simply unbelievable £3,167,964 !