THERE were three of us at our tea at Wagamama, the new Pan-Asian noodle palace which has opened at Leopold Square, Sheffield: me, the missus and the spirit of Posh Spice.
"Victoria Beckham doesn't each much more than these," said my other half, toying with a pod of bright green edamame beans. You squeeze the pods and the soya beans pop into your mouth.
I'm not blaming Wagamama but edamame beans don't do it for us.
"No wonder Posh always looks grumpy," my wife said.
Future social historians may decide that the day Sheffield gastronomically came of age was when Wagamama opened in England's fourth largest city.
It has 60 other restaurants in Britain alone, in Solihull, St Albans and Salisbury, but has taken more than a quarter of a century to come here.
That may say more about Sheffield as Wagamama. It was not that busy on our Tuesday. They're going to have to work hard to beat Newcastle's 40,000 covers a week.
Wagamama is basically Noodles-R-Us, in soup, stir-fried and in salad, with dishes eaten at benches as a sort of pit-stop refuelling service.
Decor is minimalist and rather dull in a canteen style. There is no music. This, to us , is a bonus but has a serious purpose for Wagamama doesn't want you to linger too long.
Just in case you don't get the hint they whisk plates and dishes away
the moment you finish. They don't have the temperature too warm for the same reason.
The decor and menu is based upon Japanese ramen (noodle bars) but, while I've never been in one, we might add the word "loosely" to that phrase. The open kitchen provides a little food theatre.
What you get is rather nice although it might help if the red T-shirted staff clued up Wagamama virgins on how to order.
"Your server will explain," said the meeter and greeter, which didn't help as we tried to make sense of the menu. The server, a lovely girl, was more interested in getting our drinks order - a flask of sake (£7.60) and free green tea.
Luckily we'd mugged up in advance. The restaurant doesn't do starters, which is where you can get confused, but you each order a main, noodles or a curry, with a clutch of side dishes.
As you order the waiter scribbles the number of the dish on your paper serving mat (which also doubles as the dessert menu) and zaps it through to the kitchen on a kind of remote.
I ordered a big bowl of noodle soup, wagamama ramen (£7.40) which was full of loads of stuff from Japanese fish roll and spinach to grilled tiger prawns and exceptionally good chicken.
Despite all those goodies the stock itself was rather bland even when adding some of the condiments - chilli oil, soya sauce and sauces are on the table.
Not so my wife's fiery yaki udon (£7.15), chunky udon noodles with much the same ingredients as in my soup plus peppers, beansprouts and sesame, enlivened with curry oil, pickled ginger and a spicy fish powder.
The green tea, served in clunky mugs, was tepid and dull. "But just the thing to cool me down," said my wife.
Best dish of the night was the duck gyoza (£4.95), think tiny Cornish pasties stuffed with crispy duck, closely followed by ebi katsu (£5.90), butterflied and breadcrumbed black tiger prawns.
A raw salad (£2.95) was cool relief and then there were those beans. "Victoria Beckham must get awfully bored eating these."
So were we. No prizes for guessing this was the last dish left on our table.
But Wagamama is fun and doesn't have to be expensive. We paid just over £31 for two but pushed up the bill with a jug of sake. It's an acquired taste.
2 Leopold Square, Sheffield. Tel: 0114 272 3615. Open Mon-Sat 12-2pm, Sun 12-10pm. Credit cards. Street parking.
My ratings (out of five)
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Theme/Oriental categories
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