MEL Sterland's football career was over and he did not know which way to turn.
He drove his Mercedes car from his Dronfield home to a side road in Hathersage, linked a hosepipe from the exhaust to the interior and turned on the ignition.
Moments before fumes completed his plan to kill himself, he heard in his head a voice that said: "Oi, you've got a lovely wife and two great kids, what are you doing?
It is a story told in graphic detail in the former Owls star's rivetting autobiography.*
He suffered from depression and financial problems and turned to drink before deciding to end it all, after an ankle injury at Leeds United finished a career that also included England and Rangers.
Few who perceive him, with good reason, as a happy-go-lucky character as well as one of Wednesday's finest-ever right backs and most popular players will have been fully aware of the torments he suffered over the years. He also still has a blood clot in his calf and needs regular medication.
In one anecdote after another, Sterland's story is funny and entertaining as well as grim and surprising, about the lad who grew up as one of nine sharing a three-bedroom house on the Manor.
His many illuminating memories of life with the Owls include initiation ceremonies when players applied Vaseline and boot polish to apprentices' private parts.
He once had to see Jack Charlton about a contract and on his dad's advice asked for £250 a week. Big Jack said: "Look, son, sign that or get out." Sterland hurriedly signed for £50 a week and £60 appearance money.
In Wilkinson's Hillsborough era, there were fights all the time in training between players, reveals Sterland: "I don't think that was a bad thing, because it showed that we cared and Wilko seemed not mind."
Sterland admits that he started gambling when he was 17: In later life, he once put £10,000 on a 2-1 shot; it lost in a photo-finish.
On another occasion he went to the bookies to collect £5,750 in winnings but stayed for the afternoon and lost it all.
He details two months" of hell when was accused by the police of handling stolen goods after a safe from a Post Office robbery was found in his garage: "My innocence was eventually proved when the charges were dropped."
At one point in his life he was knocking back 20 pints of lager a day, plus shorts, but sought help for his drinking.
Being famous, he was sometimes a target when he was on a night out: someone who insulted him in front of his friends and wanted to fight him ended up being battered on a pavement. A blood-spattered Sterland rushed home and told his wife: "I think I've killed somebody." But he had no t.
Sterland delivers a hefty literary punch on his book debut.
Boozing Betting and Brawling, by Mel Sterland in conjunction with Nick Johnson, is published by Green Umbrella Publishing and is in bookshops now, recommended price £18.99.
Read more about Mel Sterland it in the Green 'Un paper - out Saturday What do you think? Post your comments below. READ MORE Football headlinesMore BladesMore OwlsMore SpireitesMore RoversMore RedsMore MillersMore Ice HockeyMore rugby leagueMore rugby unionMore boxingSports columnistsAll sport categoriesThe full article contains 582 words and appears in Sheffield Star newspaper.
