Take Two with Colin Drury

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Clotted Thinking

Well, thank the Lord for that, eh? A Sheffield University academic has finally answered the question which has haunted the age: just what is the mathematical code for the perfect cream tea? Dr Eugenia Cheng had developed algebraic rules for the optimum thickness of clotted cream and the ratio of jam to scone, as reported in The Star. We won’t repeat the formula here (mainly because there’s a lot of letters, numbers and symbols which look far too intimidating to even begin to understand) but it does lead one to wonder - perhaps over a cream tea, actually - just what will those boffins set their brilliant brains to next? A formula for making a perfect iced bun, perhaps? An equation for a nice flapjack, maybe? The options for creating a better world (and afternoon snack) are simply endless. Just don’t frustrate yourself by thinking: ‘Hang on, isn’t this all a bit pointless? Why don’t they get a proper job instead?’

ON THE ROAD

Rather bizarre that the International Jack Kerouac Convention is to be held at Rotherham United’s New York Stadium. The weekend-long event on July 6-7 will see the ground transformed into a ‘beat club from the late 1950s’, as reported in this paper. Seriously. One wonders, given the footballing surroundings, if they’ll be bringing out a new edition of the author’s most famous book: On The Road (To Wembley).

NOT ON THE ROAD

Probably not because, remember, this is Rotherham United, after all.

BUILDINGS TO BE PROUD OF

Other tip-top news? Sheffield buildings dominate the shortlist for the 2013 Yorkshire award from the Royal Institute of British Architects. Four of the nominated eight runners and riders are from the city, as reported in The Star. They include The U-Mix Centre in Lowfield; 192 Shoreham Street, city centre; SOAR Works in Parson Cross; and, almost inevitably, the regeneration of Park Hill. The Diary has reported from each of the four over the past 18 months, and everyone deserves to be recognised. Aye, even Park Hill’s overhaul. Bold and original is what they all are. Which, surely, is exactly what we should be demanding of all our new-builds.