TAKE TWO with Colin Drury

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TALK about dope-y.

This column doesn’t normally laugh at criminals but you don’t get much more incompetent than Matthew Warnes, do you?

Forget Keystone Cops, this is the Keystone Cannabis Cultivator who phoned police to report someone had stolen his marijuana plants. The small scale grower, of New Street, Catcliffe, Rotherham was promptly arrested, as revealed in this paper.

There’s some current debate as to whether cannabis kills brain cells. If this fellow is anything to go by, quite clearly it does.

SO, now there’s a cinema complex being planned for The Moor then?

Proposals have been submitted to build a 10-screen multiplex complete with other leisure and retail outlets, as revealed in this paper last week.

Great stuff. And good on developers Scottish Widows for pushing ahead with the area’s improvement.

Though one rather wonders what the first film shown will be. Perhaps The Never Ending Story - in honour of the ever-delayed creation of the nearby Sevenstone retail quarter.

CYNICAL? Perhaps.

Although even this column isn’t quite as downbeat as one online response to the cinema story.

“Too little too late,” says a contributor calling themselves, er, Zap. “The town centre is dead and just needs burying.”

Blimey. Cheer up, son.

What a lot of sense spoken by Mick Jameson, chairman of the South Yorkshire Intergrated Transport Authority, following the death of a four-year-old child at a level crossing between Doncaster and Westwoodside last week.

Little Emma Lifsey was killed when a car she was in collided with a train there.

“Level crossings came into being before the modern age and we should be able to ensure the safety of pedestrians, cyclists and motorists,” Coun Jameson told this paper. “I think they should be phased out.”

Absolutely right.

In this day and age there is no reason for something so intrinsically unsafe to exist.

Every one should surely be scrapped as soon as possible?