For months now, reports of illegal immigrants covertly arriving on our shores in the dead of night have been widespread.
Locals from quiet ports in the south-east have regularly seen small vessels blatantly land on our beaches and the occupants flee under the cloak of darkness.
But in typical British governmental style, instead of tackling the problem head on, we commission an inquiry.
I’m telling you, if there was an event in the Rio Olympics for producing inquiries, Britain would win the gold hands down. Anyway, now that it has been delivered we are all enlightened to know that it states (as usual) the bleedin’ obvious, in that the three boats we have to secure Britain’s 7,000 miles of coastline is inadequate.
More than 75 years ago when the Luftwaffe were threatening to invade Britain, we had spotters placed in sheds along the southern coastline equipped with nothing more than a pair of binoculars and a flask of tea, keeping a watch out for the imminent invasion which was to be the Battle of Britain. Couldn’t we at least employ something similar to confront this latest problem?
And although we won that fight in 1940 armed with simple archaic tools, it seems that we can’t stop a steady flow of intruders – and possible terrorists – from this current invasion even with all the advanced technology available today.
With the official number of illegal migrants topping the one million mark, I propose we create a modern-day Home Guard to assist in this fight to protect our borders, but then the pencil-necks would probably warrant an inquiry into whether sheds would be suitable lodgings for them.