You can have salt on your food if you ask nicely

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I POPPED into our Loxley Bottoms fish and chip emporium for a jacket potato and chicken (with a hint of mayonnaise and butter) to be advised that salt cellars must now be placed behind the counter and not on it. No doubt in due course they will be relocated to the top shelf in a brown paper bag.

I can imagine the old packets of crisps containing the blue packet (which usually went on one crisp despite efforts at sprinkling) now being emblazoned with a skull and crossbones.

Presumably, our Scottish neighbours will be reined back, or more likely exempted from their cheery enquiries in those pharmacies for good living, the cornucopia that is a Scottish fishbar.

Ron Clayton, Slimmer of the Year 1952