Today’s Star columnist: Ron Clayton

Ron Clayton is a Wadsley-raised Sheffield historian, city tour guide and Friends Of Sheffield Castle stalwart'''Hillsborough History Walk lead by local Historian
Ron Clayton is a Wadsley-raised Sheffield historian, city tour guide and Friends Of Sheffield Castle stalwart'''Hillsborough History Walk lead by local Historian
0
Have your say

Le grand cycling shorts? Non!

Apres les grande departe, didn’t Sheffield do well ?

Sheffield folk rose to the occasion – great decision to route it through the less than picture postcard parts of Sheffield rather than the green and supposedly more pleasant hills and valleys elsewhere in the city.

A fortnight before – less afterwards – Loxley Bottoms was adrift with cycles and cyclists – even the scrapmen were recycling more bikes .

Usually the way in S6 where the sight of a reindeer on a bike is a sign of Christmas as Rutland CC have their festive ride.

As someone who makes the art of coarse mountain biking his own – what should be my part in cycling as we utilise this healthy and stress busting mode of transport?

Unkind neighbours have commentedthat I use my trusty Ridgeback (Rhodesian) as a walking frame but its really my part – in particular my backside – clad in tight and clinging cycling shorts would swear you off doner kebabs and dodo drumsticks for eternity.

Cycling shorts – even when hung up to dry with that marsupial like crutch pad designed to avoid you being incapable of being a father (I am the last of the Clayton bloodline anyhow – like the fall of the House of Usher)look like Ed Geins’ (the original Pyscho) handiwork.

I know some one to whom the sight of Y-fronts flapping on a line has the same unsettling effect as the sheet in the James ghost story.

It’s not just that but the somewhat unseemly way I tend to ride like a scorpion on heat – and if you come up behind me you might be forgiven forthinking it’s an unscheduled eclipse or post early for Christmas or visit Kenya to see the Great Rift Valley and singing ‘It never rains in Southern California’ on my way to the the Temple of Doom after the 2007 floods.

So maybe I should avoid sullying the reputation of cycling – which after all is excellent for your body and mind’s well being-its just the sight of me doing it that isn’t.