A South Yorkshire dad accused of shaking his baby so hard he was left with a brain injury said he slipped into a depression when his children were taken away.
The father said he cut his wrist and became reliant on alcohol and cannabis when he was separated from his two children and step child.
The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, allegedly assaulted his baby on November 13, 2012, while his partner was out buying the latest Call of Duty video game.
The man was interviewed by police the day after the incident.
Social services later took away the two other children and the man was interviewed again in March 2013.
“They told me my child had been shaken. I was horrified, I felt I was being accused,” he said.
After the interview, the man cut his wrist with a kitchen knife.
He said: “I was depressed. I didn’t see any point in living any more without the kids. It destroyed me and destroyed my family.”
In the early hours of March 28, 2013, he rang 999 and admitted shaking his son.
But he told a jury at Sheffield Crown Court he had ‘made up a story’.
“I convinced myself of doing such a thing. I thought everything was going to be alright and thought my partner would get the kids back and I could see them.
“I was in a mental state and my world had been turned upside down. I’d had my children taken away and they’re the only thing I was bonded to.”
The trial continues.